#well i forged the guy friend of my dreams

[clarituh]

I just saw a guy friend who was a conservative who didn't even know who was Taylor Swift post in their Instagram history with ME! to congratulate me for my birthday with a gigantic pride flag "happy birthday gay"

And my parents think I do nothing all day pfff, I have a FULL time job changing men, I'm workcoholic actually, 24/7 being a manic pixie dream girl isn't easy

[spxllcxstxr]

Jayce and Viktor Dating Someone with ADHD • Headcanon

(Gif not mine)

Request: Hiiii how are you? I love your stories so I was wondering if you could write more jayvik x reader but who has adhd? TYSMM -- anon and Your Jayvik + reader headcanons have me are giddy and are healing my soul. Is it possible to ask for a some headcanons with a reader who has ADHD and also forgets to eat because of it?? I hope your day is kind to you! -- anon

Warnings: gn!reader, reader has ADHD, mentions of food and eating/not eating, these are lowkey kinda short im so sorry lol

A.N: Disclaimer: I don't have ADHD but I have many friends that do and while ADHD presents itself differently for people, I tried to keep this a bit generalized, I hope that's ok!! If anything needs changing or needs to be deleted for being inaccurate or anything, just let me know! Hope you guys enjoy!!

•

Jayce and Viktor are both very understanding people, so when you told them you had ADHD they didn’t have a problem with it. They are, however, problem solvers (they are inventors with the dream of making Piltover and Zaun better for the people), meaning they are very curious about your habits and how they can help. They don’t want to “cure” you, because there’s nothing to cure, but they want to understand how to reassure you and how to make living with ADHD easier on a day-to-day basis

If you’re someone who fidgets with things a lot, Jayce will happily pick up the task of making something that satisfies your need to occupy your hands and your thoughts. He loves being in the forge and he’ll gladly let you sit in there with him and listen to you describe what you would want. He’ll sit next to you, sketching out the design while you ramble about what textures are better than others or how weighty it should feel in your hand. Jayce honestly loves this little side project; not only does it let him work on something other than his research, but it also puts a smile on your face

If you like rambling for hours about your latest hyperfixation, Viktor is the best for that. He has a naturally curious mind and would love to learn something new. He especially likes it when your head is resting on his chest in the middle of the night. Viktor likes watching you move your hands as you talk excitably about the plant life in Ionia or the history of the Yordles. He doesn’t just listen—he’ll ask you questions or give you reading material he thinks you may like as well

Going to Council parties or even just walking through Piltover can really overwhelm you sometimes, either with all the noise or the texture of your clothing feeling off, so your partners are very attentive to your wellbeing. The three of you set up a codeword for anyone to use when someone needs or wants to leave. They try to make it something funny every time to hopefully ease the panic a little bit. Usually Jayce and Viktor are glued to either side of you hip, but in the off chance they have to roam around the room, the two of them will try to keep an eye on you. They will always reassure you that it's ok that they are leaving these sorts of events early (Viktor barely wants to go in the first place), and when you get home the three of you will do something to calm everyone down and get into comfortable clothes

Having ADHD, you tend to get distracted/forget to do certain things. This usually includes eating. Your partners never want to seem overbearing or like they're smothering you, so they will try to subtly remind you to eat/do certain things. Jayce likes writing you little notes and putting them in the apartment. Usually they have little hearts in the corners with some encouraging remark after "remember to eat!" Viktor will usually try to eat with you, so you won't feel alone while eating. He'll be making something and he'll set the table for either two or three and that just reminds you to actually sit down and eat what Viktor makes

Your partners are very patient and are always open to new ideas. if you want them to do something different or if something works really well, they would love to hear it. They absolutely will not be mad at all, they love you so much and all they want to do is help make things easier for you

•

[aethon-recs]

This Week in Tomarrymort (4 – 10 October 2024)

Another week chock-full of updates! October is always such a rich and amazingly productive month in fandom, with such an explosion of new ideas and fics with the many prompt challenges going on. And a few more @tomarrybigbang fics as well! 

As with last week, please feel free to add some extra context to your fic update in the reblog, like a little bit about the chapter(s) updated. For this format of weekly list, there’s no space to add a summary or extra info about the fics, so I’ll rely on the authors to share a bit more about their updates, if you’re so inclined! 🤍

A recap of the author notes from last week:

such unholy heaving by @cealesti (M, 10k, WIP) “A horror/suspense F/F Tomarry fic set in a D&D-inspired fantasy setting.” These Fragments We've Shored by @rowena-rain (M, 28k, WIP) “GOVERNMENT WARNING: (1) According to the Surgeon General, Harry Potter should not drink alcoholic beverages while resurrecting Lord Voldemort because of the risk of...everything. (2) Consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to operate Deathly Hallows, and may cause, er, problems. Aka, Harry gets hammered and decides it's a great idea to drunk "text" (i.e., summon) Voldemort with the Stone. Voldemort isn't one to pass up an opportunity to exploit vulnerability for personal gain.” Do It Over by @marrythemonstersao3 (T, 46k, WIP) “A depressed postwar Harry has taken Death's hand, reunited with the horcrux he mourned, and traveled into his own past Now he wakes up on the morning of his eleventh birthday, ready to do things differently this time. He has no grand plans, just the instinct to be close to the man whose soul he shares.” Anytime, Anywhere, Always by @moontearpensfic (E, 18k, WIP) “A role reversal AU! In this latest chapter, Tom tells a scary story for Halloween to get Harry hot and bothered.” on line sex & rabbit stew by @izharmilgram (E, 3k, complete) “Includes time-travelling Professor Harry Potter, phone sex in the 1950s, horcrux shenanigans, parseltongue, Tom being sexually frustrated... fun stuff.” The Brief Fiery Plummets by @marrythemonstersao3 (T, 1k, WIP) “A series of 100-word drabbles exploring different moments Harry might have woken up in after traveling back to the past in When the Weight is Gone.” forgive me father by @cindle-writes (E, 2k, complete) “A PWP one-shot where Tom sneaks into Harry's bed while he's sleeping and seduces him, featuring adoptive father Harry and shota boypussy Tom.”

*

Tomarrymort One Shots and Completed Fic

Chapter 15 (Completed) of Just Business by @holaolla1

One Shot | family friends by @reggieblk

One Shot | young lust by @xodahafez

One Shot | the precarity of virgin souls by @izharmilgram

One Shot | roughly, dry and painful by @2sidesofthesamesoul

One Shot | don’t wake me (i’m not dreaming) by @dreaming-in-the-dark

One Shot | The Sweetness of Your Tears by @v33r00

One Shot | sleeping with ghosts by @theonceandfuturequeenoftarts

One Shot | Newly Forged by @obsidianpen

One Shot | bad guy by @circleofplanets

One Shot | nineteen (ever so priceless) by @midsummersins

One Shot | Consequences of Murder by @penrot

*

Tomarrymort Ongoing Fics

Chapter 3 of friend of the devil (a friend of mine) by @shyinsunlight

Chapter 37 of Part One - The Solitude of Suffering by @iseliljathedreamer

Chapter 63 of Holly & Yew by @lovely-lotus

Chapter 7 of Anytime, Anywhere, Always by @moontearpensfic

Chapter 15 of Sits the wind in that quarter by @mosiva

Chapter 1 of it’s hard being casual by sansaerys

Chapter 12 of Saint Harry by @alenablack @chaos-bear

Chapter 9 of Ills of Murder by @shadow-of-the-eclipse

Chapter 3 of a pound of flesh by @ictyn

Chapter 7 of Hole in the Wall by tomrddle

Chapter 11 of Aphelion by TimaeusKosmou

Chapter 36 of Seeing Sand by @valkyrie-chemist

Chapter 14 of the stars, my destination by @milkandmoon-ao3

Chapter 2 of Lunacy by @crowcrowcrowthing

Chapters 1 and 2 of What quickens me is the violence in thee by @i-dream-of-libraries

Chapter 1 of The Sacred Art Of Repression by @goldenzingy46

Chapter 2 of such unholy heaving by @cealesti

Chapters 5 through 7 of The Brief Fiery Plummets by @marrythemonstersao3

Chapter 4 of Fate's Coffin by @noxxytocin

Chapter 1 of Infinite by @moontearpensfic

Chapter 5 of i am anonymous, you are a concrete wall by Pensievable

Chapter 1 of Plague by @a-sentimental-man

Chapter 5 of Forbidden Darkness by @neurowriter14

Chapter 4 of Memories of a Killer by @chemfreak89

Chapter 1 of the alchemy by @cindle-writes

Chapters 126 and 127 of Liquida Tenebris (Remastered) by @dymis

Chapter 1 of despite everything, it's still you by @boromirsayshi

Chapter 8 of all you do is kill, love snakes, and lie by @soopsiedaisies

*

[artists-ally]

{Only Me and the Devil Know} Reader x Azriel

Picture credit

So. I have no real explanation for this other than I was ready this AMAZING fic and it sparked an idea. That’s it. That all I can say. I’m already blushing. Blow up my inbox, comments, and dm's with your thoughts! Enjoy <3 Title from this song. (Ps. Thank you for all the support on the teaser????? You guys are insane I love you all so much)

Word Count: 12,169 (HOLY SHIT)

Warnings: SMUT. like seriously, this is nasty. Pre-established relationship and consent, CNC, dom/sub, role play (predator and prey), pet names (dove!reader and master!Azriel), breath play, overstimulation and forced orgasms, bondage, spanking, oral (m&f), breeding kink, degrading, humiliation, masochism, stalking, biting, minor blood.

Summary: Azriel has had this fantasy of you that he's been terrified to ask you to partake in. After explaining and agreeing, fear and desire blur together in a terrifying game of predator vs. prey.

Tagging: @librafairy @needylilgal022 @bunnymallowo

~~~~~

The tip of the sun caressed my skin through the window, gently waking me from whatever dream I had been having. My shoulder ached from having slept on it a little weird, and my eyes were bleary. 

I wandered to the kitchen that overlooked the hills, boiling some water for some tea. When I looked around the room, I felt this sense of pride for how far I’ve come in this little city. Everything was as it should be. 

After breakfast, I changed for the day. The familiar worn in overalls slipped on, tucking the ends into my boots. I threw on a long sleeve shirt, the beginning of fall nipping through the window. While it was nice to have a change of seasons, it made me sad to have to say goodbye to some of the flowers and vegetation of the summer. 

I packed a lunch and headed out, locking the door behind me. The walk this early in the morning was always therapeutic; chirping birds and herd of deer along the edges of the forest across the meadow. The dirt and stones crunched under my feet as I walked down the self-forged path to my shop on the corner.

I pulled the sign from my little alley and set it up to display the new deals and sales. On my door was a folded piece of paper with my name in some of the most incredible font I’ve ever seen. 

“Oh my sweet little dove, you look so precious in that outfit of yours. With your hair braided down your head. You don’t even know my name and yet I scream yours every night. Don’t worry, I already know everything about you.”

My heart dropped. I whirled around and looked down the street. The sun hadn’t even come up yet, so maybe whoever left it was still out there. No one. No one was around besides me. The breeze rustles my wind chimes, making it feel even more eerie. 

What the fuck?

I read it over again, not recognizing the handwriting. I quickly unlock the door and lock it behind me. I quietly step through the shop, checking if there’s anyone inside. Maybe I shouldn’t have locked myself in here.

No one was inside, and I blew a sigh of relief. With my head on a constant swivel, I went about my day, checking every corner of every room I went in. A friend of mine, Cece, stopped by in the afternoon. She clearly noticed the wariness in my eyes.

“Someone just left it on your door? Yn, why don’t you report it?” She asked, disgust written in her eyebrows as she looked at it again and again. 

“Well, who would I report it to?” I shrugged. 

“Hmm, let me think. Oh, I don’t know, maybe our High Lord?” I rolled my eyes at her sarcasm. “Yn, it’s not safe! Someone is obviously stalking you.”

“I’m fine.” I lied. I was a wreck. A complete boneless, nervous wreck. Cece knew. 

“Yn-”

“I can handle myself,” I shook my head. “If I need to, I have a dagger under the cash register.”

“Yeah because that’ll stop a full grown male,” she rolled her eyes. “I’m just worried, Yn. I don’t wanna have anything happen to you. Especially when we can prevent it.”

“I will be alright, don’t worry about me,” I waved off. “If I feel unsafe I’ll let you know. And Damien is right next door, surely he’ll be able to help if something goes wrong.”

With a sharp inhale, and an obvious disagreeing tone, she left it alone. I didn’t feel unsafe here, and it was the middle of the day. Who would attack someone in the middle of the day? In public nonetheless. 

____

There wasn’t a note on the door the next day, thank the Cauldron, and I began planning for the town’s annual solstice celebration. It was still a few months away, but I had to preserve some flowers for the winter in order to make holiday arrangements. 

I designed and sketched wreaths, garlands and some other things to be put into production. Having to hand make all of them was a pain, and I usually hired some more help to get things done a lot faster. 

It was a rare slow day, and I enjoyed the peace and quiet. I watered and swept, wiping down tables and shelves. I couldn’t shake this feeling no matter how hard I tried. I felt like I was being watched. And there was this chill in the air. Inside my shop, which always remained in the seventies for the plants. 

But it was cold. I checked the thermostat, and it was still where it needed to be. Why did it feel so fucking cold?

Maybe It was just me, and I was getting a little sick. 

Whatever it was, it followed me all the way home. I knew my eyes were playing tricks on me. I kept seeing things in the shadows move, but whenever I got closer, nothing was there. Yup, definitely being paranoid now. 

The next morning was the same; no note, but this agonizing feeling that I was being watched no matter where I was. I was still cold and could do nothing to warm up. I helped an older female find something for her granddaughter who had a music recital tonight. When I looked across the counter at her, there was nothing but my counter– and the flowers and her purse. But I dropped one of the coins and I bent to pick it up. 

There was a note on the counter. With my name. In the same handwriting as before. 

My throat closed, fingers tingling with panic. I quickly helped the lady along and stared at the piece of paper. Where the fuck did it come from. It was literally there in a second. What the actually fuck is going on?

“My dove, you know it’s rude to not write back. I don’t take kindly to indecency. But you won’t be able to avoid me forever. Rest up, dove. You’ll need it.”

Need it for what? My heart thundered against my ribs. Surely I should report this, but… but I didn’t want to. I don’t know why I didn’t want to, but I didn’t. It was probably just some kid trying to scare me. I kept telling myself that, but it hardly worked when I left, constantly checking over my shoulder. 

I needed to head down the street to grab something for dinner. On the corner of the road was a group of people chatting loudly, a couple walking in front of me. There were people around. Good. 

The Serpentine Supply was the only grocery store open this late. I made my way through the isles and plucked whatever looked good off the shelves. I could surely make… something with all of this. 

When I headed out, there was no group on the corner. No couple walking in front of me. No crickets or last minute birds tucking themselves in for the night. 

A silhouette was the only thing I saw. Tall, so tall, and muscular. A creeping shadow behind the figure, and as it moved, it revealed wings. So enormous they touched the ground despite his height. 

I could almost recognize the face, but it looked vague. Like I had seen it before, but couldn’t recall where. Surely I’d remember a face that beautiful. Clearly High Fae. He shouldered off the wall, eyes set on me. I fled, almost dropping my bag, bolting in the opposite direction towards my home.

I heaved as I fell against the inside of my door. Curling my legs up, I listened for footsteps until I remembered the male had wings. Wings. 

Fear coursed through me and I went to the safe under the cabinet in my room. I twisted the dial and plucked the dagger in my palm. I couldn’t breathe, let alone eat, so I sat at my kitchen table and waited to see if he would try to follow me in.

It could’ve just been a random male, I told myself. And it was probably more likely. 

But what if that was- no. I can’t terrorize myself like that. This is all coincidental and I’m blowing all of this out of proportion. There is no reason someone would want to hurt me. But then again sometimes you don’t have to do something to have people want you-

Nope. Not going there. 

_____

With basket in tow, I walked up the hillside to my personal field. Rows of still-in-season flowers greeted me as I rounded the crest. I lifted up my skirt and bent down, plucking the last of the summer blooms to be stored for the winter. 

I was so happy when I discovered the preservation technique last Solstice so everyone could enjoy these beautiful flowers year round. I laid them all in the same direction, careful to not destroy the delicate petals. 

It was actually a nice day, and the sun was warm despite a cooler breeze. The sundress I had put on was one I’ve worn a thousand times, the hemp dulled and frayed from years of wear and play in the dirt picking flowers and gardening. It was lightweight and easy to maneuver in. My feet were bare. No real need for shoes out here. I liked feeling the dirt between my toes anyway, shoes just got in the way and made my feet sweat. 

I picked up a dahlia and laid it in the basket, reaching for another before I shrieked. 

A dark tendril of something circled around it, through the petals and drenching it in darkness. I launched back away from it, hands breaking my fall. 

“My dove, don’t you look pretty today,” a voice crept down my spine. I had only then realized I backed up into something solid. I scrambled, staring up at the figure. I had to shield my eyes from the sun, but a winged silhouette blocked it a second later.

Oh shit.

My brain fogged and words were long forgotten.

“It’s okay, dove. Don’t be afraid,” he spoke. His mouth curled into a feline smile when he took a step towards me, and I scooted back. He clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “Oh, my pretty prey, don’t you see? You can’t run. You’re all alone out here, aren’t you?”

I shouldn’t answer, I can’t let him know that I’m all alone.

“N-No,” I stuttered, breathless and boneless. “No, I am not alone.”

“Don’t lie to me,” his tone sent a ripple down my back. “Even if you weren’t alone, there’d be nothing anyone could do.”

Fear prowled through me, and I think he could sense that. I anchored myself to the ground, prepared to bolt at any second and try to put as much distance as I could. Would it be useless? Probably. Would I go down with a fight? Absolutely. I’d kick and scream and-

“It’s so adorable to watch you think you have a chance,” he tilted his head, bending down over me. I took in those wings, that sharp jaw and even sharper eyes. His skin was flushed with a fine layer of sweat, and he smelled like an inferno. 

My core tightened. My fingers and toes were numb with dread. 

“Such a shame. A pretty thing like you shouldn’t ever be left alone. Someone could just come right up to you and take you as their own.” “I told you I’m not alone,” I bit out. 

He chuckled. Void of any real amusement and full of predatory hunger. “It’s okay, dove. I only want to take you for a little while, show you all the things that delicate body does to me. Only when I am satisfied will I give you back.”

A sob shuddered through me as he gripped my chin, forcing me to look at him. “P-Please don’t- please don’t hurt me-”

“Oh, I will. But it will feel so good for you. You’re going to cry. And beg. And scream. All for me. You’ll realize that no other male will be able to make you feel the things I can make you.” His voice was of the smoothest silk, but the words were so wrong. So repulsing. It certainly didn’t help when he looked so striking. 

I swallowed, nothing going down. I shook with nothing but fear when his hand traveled down my chin, to my neck. He gripped, not cutting off air, but firm enough I knew I was fucked. I couldn’t move, I was paralyzed by his eyes. 

This was it. This was going to happen. 

I have to try and run. I have to try. I looked up and down his body, at his midsection crouched over my legs. I kicked up as hard as I could, sending him to the ground with a groan. I scrambled, as fast as I could, to my suddenly limp feet and ran. I sprinted into the woods, not daring to look back to see if he was following. I knew he was following.

My chest burned with the need for oxygen. I zig-zaged through the trees, stepping on branches and sharp stones. When I screamed, nothing came out. My voice was dead in my throat and I couldn’t scream. It felt like I was in a nightmare. Where all laws of physics are wiped away for the sake of terror.

How far I ran I didn’t know, but I couldn’t see my meadow from wherever I was. Who knew what was in these woods? I slowed my pace a little to catch my breath. I walked– more like jogging– through the thick brush. Thorns and bugs tore up my arms and legs. 

Great. Now the sun was going down. Normally a Velaris sunset would put a beaming smile on my face. Right now? It only filled me with worry. 

The soles of my feet were cut and filled with dirt. My trembling had slowed, but every new snap of a twig had it tumbling back into me. I kept my gaze on the vegetation in front of me, careful not to step on too many branches. The last thing I needed was to send a ripple of sound to what/whoever was after me.

I smacked face first into a tree. So hard my vision danced away from me. The back of my head hit the forest floor and I groaned, hugging it close to my chest. As I rolled onto my shoulder, I was forced onto my stomach. My voice filled me when I saw the scarred hand, belonging to the male I thought I left in the field. 

“Where are you going, my prey? You think you can outrun a predator like me? Aww, my dove. You should know I love the chase, to see the fear in your eyes. Fear is one of our most primal instincts, fleeing only makes me want to hunt.” 

He was heavy on top of me, hand fisting in my hair to force me up. I tried to fight against it, but I couldn’t move. 

“Run again and I will have no choice but to hurt you. Though I bet you’d beg me to keep going.”

In a second, that same tendril-like shadow surrounded us. It filled every pore of my skin, every hole in my body. I felt like I was suffocating. That I was choking and couldn’t do anything to clear the obstruction. My eyes watered and I shrieked in my head. 

As fast as it was there, it was gone. I sucked in breaths, coughing up the saliva that was trapped in my throat. When I opened my eyes, I had no idea where I was. The cold, smooth concrete under my palms and knees was no indicator. There was no light except a singular bulb overhead. There was a table in the middle bound with leather, and a wall lined with different weapons and tools.

“Have no fear, dove. I won’t be using all of them on you today,” the voice echoed, and I spun around, trying to find it. He was nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Panicking, I ran towards one wall, hoping to find a door. I pounded at it with everything I had, nothing giving away.

It was solid stone.

“Please let me go, I promise I won’t tell anyone about this,” I pleaded, sinking into the farthest corner. “Please I won’t-”

“I know you won’t, my dove,” the male emerged from the shadows. “But I don’t care.” Tears rolled down my cheeks. “I don’t want this. Please, sir-”

“Master.” his voice boomed into the room. “Call me anything other than master and there will be consequences.”

I cowered against the wall, legs tucked up under myself. Maybe if I appease him then… “Please master I-”

“Would you look at that,” he grinned. A feral grin with a promise to bring pain. “My dove knows how to take orders. So good to know you have a desire deep down to please and cooperate.”

“I don’t want this.”

“I know you don’t, and that’s what makes me want you more, dove,” he knelt down in front of me again, tucking away some of the hairs in my face. Under any other circumstance, I’d find the movement comforting, reassuring maybe. This? This was haunting. Make-your-stomach-blanche haunting. 

“What do you want from me?” I asked, daring a look in his green eyes. In another setting, I’d find them beautiful. But not this one. 

“I’ve already told you. I will return you when I am satisfied,” the male flashed his white teeth. “Get up.”

He yanked me by my bicep and hurtled me out of the corner. My feet stumbled and he kept me upright, dragging me to the table. My lower back aches when I crash into it, but the table didn’t move. I gripped the edge for dear life while my eyes stayed locked on my captor. 

My heart begged me to find safety. But there wasn’t a door, not a window in this chamber. 

“Where am I?”

“Far from anything, if that’s what you’re asking. I’ll take care of you, my dove. I won’t be kind, but I don’t want to kill you.”

Was it comforting? Sort of. Not really. No, it wasn’t comforting in any way. This male, this winged male, was going to do whatever he wanted. I’m at his mercy. His to play with, to decide what to do with, and I had no say in the process or the outcome. 

He turned to face me after looking at the wall of tools and things. “Oh dove, why didn’t you say you were needy?”

I blinked at him, shifting on my feet. “I’m not needy. I just want to be let go.”

“You think I can’t smell the sweet scent between those legs of yours?” His gaze darkened, traveling up and down my trembling body. “I bet if I touched you you’d arch into me, wouldn’t you? You're all messy and ready for me, aren’t you?”

I shook my head, biting my lip. His massive hand wrapped around my throat, pulling me inches from his face. He ducked his head down, planting a kiss right below my ear. I shivered. No no no no no this was not about to happen. 

His teeth nipped my ear and he exhaled, sending uninvited goosebumps across my arms and legs. 

“Despite your best efforts,” he whispered, breath skimming me ignited skin. “You are arching into me. You want me to touch you, don’t you?”

I couldn’t move my head with his grip, which only tightened when I didn’t come up with a response quick enough. “No, no I don’t want you to touch me.”

“Pity,” he said. “Your body says otherwise. Even though I frighten you, have you at my will, you find it thrilling, little dove. Aww, see? You’re so hungry for my touch, my mouth, that you can’t even stay still. I know my dove needs it, she’s such a slut already and I haven’t even done anything.”

Impossible. It was impossible not to writhe at his words. Heat flooded my body in a moment. No, don’t want this. This is wrong. This is so fucking wrong.

He let out a cruel laugh, the vibrations prickling my skin. He manipulated my head where he wanted, pressing his mouth up my neck, across my collarbones. My eyes lulled shut, unintentionally letting my head fall back. 

“Good girl, my dove.”

I gasped as his teeth grazed right where my vein pulsed under my skin. His hand roughly grabbed my hips and lifted me onto the table. They forced my knees apart and he stepped into the space. I whimpered.

“So vocal,” his voice was criminally sleek. “Be as loud as you want dove, no one can hear you scream.”

Again, not comforting.

“W-What are you going to do to me?” My voice bobbled, especially when he pulled off my body and stared at me. 

“Ask me one more time and I will make you regret it.” There was no room for negotiation in his voice. “But, since you are such a curious little whore, I guess we can get started.”

The world whirled around me as he forced me chest down. I hung over the edge, blood rushing to my face. His hands grabbed the neckline of my dress and ripped it down the zipper. The bitterness of the dark room chilled me to my core. 

A single one of his fingers felt its way down my spine. I kicked out, wiggling away from his fine touch. That finger left my back and came down hard on my ass. A scream tore through my body. The sting boomed across my skin, definitely leaving a raised welt in the shape of his hand. 

“Keep still.” He ordered. I panted with the force of that smack. “I mean it dove, I don’t want to hurt you… too bad anyway.”

I tried to hold still as his hands explored my body. They were firm which helped. I could predict the patterns of his hands and the tension slowly slipped from my body. I relaxed a shoulder down to the table, then let my legs dangle. 

“See? You’re already growing accustomed to my touch. Such a good little girl, my dove. I will reward you, you can keep pretending you don’t crave me as much as I crave you.” 

My body was betraying me. I have this type of reaction. It was wrong. On so many levels.

But my goodness was he a stunning male. 

Why I relaxed as he lifted the hem of my skirt up, I couldn’t ever say. But I was more embarrassed when he cooed at me, a soft, almost sweet noise coming from deep in his chest. 

“Aww,” he sighed. “Nothing under this? All prepped and ready for me, dove? I should have known how much of a whore you’d be for more. So kind of you to make it so easy for me to use you. To have my unwavering way.”

“Master I- please don’t do this to me-”

“And would you look at that?” He palmed my ass apart. “You are a soaking wet mess. I am two for two, I wonder what else I am right about. I think you’ll like it when I touch you, so much you’ll come apart just after a few strokes. I think I can get you to cum on my cock as many times as I want, until you’re an incoherent, slobbering mess. What do you think, dove? If you agree I’ll make you feel sooo good.”

I was quivering. Fuck, he had been right. And I felt so ashamed about it. Nothing about this should be arousing, and yet, he was completely right. Cauldron boil me for this.

I nodded. Despite all the bells and whistles telling me to fight and keep going. I nodded. 

“I knew you’d come around,” I could hear the sinister smile in his voice. “Get up, dove.”

Slowly, I lowered my feet to the ground and turned to face him. He reached around me and pressed a switch on the table. It began to move, angling itself on a slant. A panel came out at the bottom and the male flipped it up. “Step.”

Uh oh. 

With a wary look at him, I stepped onto the small metal platform barely big enough to place my feet on. I face him, the dress barely clinging to my body. He grabbed one of my wrists and forced it over my head. A cuff of leather latched around it. 

When I tried to yank it away, his free hand wound around my throat, cutting off all oxygen. I gargled, going slack in his grip. 

“I told you if you tried to get away, I’d have to hurt you,” he shook his head. “My prey hasn’t learned her lesson.”

My eyes widened as he grabbed something off the wall behind me. The second he rounded to where I could see him, my heart blazed in my chest. There was a small sword in his hand and he spined it between his fingers aimlessly. 

With two light-blurring moves of his arm, he cut off the sleeves to my dress and it pooled around my feet. I don’t know when I closed my eyes, but then they were open, staring down at my now naked body. “Defy my order again and I’ll cut you, do you understand?” I nodded vigorously. 

I still had one hand free, and I used it to try and cover myself. The male watched me twist and turn under his stare. 

“Looks like I still have something to take care of,” he looked at the hand that was shielding the space between my thighs. Within a minute, he had gained control of my hand and I was tied up. Completely naked and exposed to him. “Much better.”

I didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know what to say. So I stayed quiet. I just watched his every move. 

“What to do with you first,” he tapped his chin. “I should punish you for trying to get away from me again. But I think I just want to play with you a little bit more.”

He pressed another button, and the table tilted back so it wasn’t such a steep incline. My arms were already feeling strained as I tugged at the cuffs around my wrists. Most of my weight fell on my back, but gods my arms ached already. 

This was it. Nothing I can do to stop this. Fear and dread and every other emotion bubbled up and out, sobs wracking through my chest. 

“Don’t be afraid my dove,” his voice was anything but soothing as he dragged his fingers down my cheek. “I will make you feel so many good things. See? I only want to ruin you for anyone other than me. That’s it, my prey.”

His hand pinned my leg to the table, basically covering the entire thigh with his hand. He was so big. From his hands to his wings, even his shoulders were massive and otherworldly. A finger brushed up the crease of my hip, dipping into the mess on my skin. I jolted when he slid that finger between the tops of my thighs. 

It was so light, so gentle in comparison to how he’s been. With a shaky breath, my eyes fluttered shut as I let him touch me. 

“So soft, dove,” he praised. “Let's see how you taste. I hope it’s as sweet as those flowers of yours smell.” He let his tongue curl out and around the pad of his middle finger, eyes locked on mine. With a hum of approval, he grinned. “My dear dove, you taste so wonderful. I am going to undo you so many times so I can taste you over and over again. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Yeah I know you do. Don’t worry, I will make you, whether you want to or not.”

Chills spread down my back and I arched off the table when he stuck two fingers inside me. It didn’t hurt, but it didn’t feel great. Not until his thumb brushed over my clit, making me jump viscously. 

“Tell me what you want, dove.” 

I had to calm the inferno in my mind before I could speak. “Just- please…”

“Please what? Use those words of yours, slut. Or are you already too fucked out to form sentences?” That wicked mouth of his didn’t make it any easier.

“I want… more,” it came out a whisper. So tentative and meek I wasn’t sure if I had said it out loud. 

“You want more, my prey?” I nodded. He let out a soul crippling laugh. “Just remember, you asked for this.”

His fingers picked up, and his mouth latched onto my breast. Teeth bit into the skin, and I knew it was the first mark of many to come. There was nothing to do except take what he was giving me. And right now, it didn’t feel bad. Pleasure ripped through with another brush of his thumb and my core tightened. 

Sweat pricked my skin, my hair itching the back of my neck. I was so hyper aware of everything going on with my body it was impossible to focus on anything else other than that it started to feel good. Fuck. I was giving in. I need to resist. This was- this was wrong. And yet I was… I was enjoying it? He had to have drugged me or- or cast some sort of spell to make me react to his touch. I couldn’t find any of this desirable, could I?

“Would you like to cum, dove?” He stilled his hands, but my hips kept moving. “Are you that desperate? That you’re fucking yourself on my fingers?”

I stopped immediately. My mouth gaped open and closed for a response, but nothing came. 

Two heartbeats later he shoved his fingers in so deep I pulled on the chains so hard I began to lift myself away from his touch. He pinned my thigh back to the table and circled my clit, drawing noises from me I so desperately wanted to keep inside. 

There wasn’t anything I could do to convince him that I was repulsed by this. Because he and I both knew that I was into it. Problematically into all of this. I didn’t want to admit it to myself. I couldn’t let that little bit of control I needed to ground me. What control did I actually have? I had no power. Nothing to hold over him. 

I was tied. To a table. In a room without a door. Cauldron knows where I am. Of course I had no power here. 

But it… it filled me with fear. This primal fear, just like he said. And I couldn’t stop him from doing whatever he wanted. And that was… that was…

Pleasure ripped through me, forcing me to arch off the table and scream out. I hadn’t given my body permission to lean into this. Fuck fuck fuck. It felt so good, his fingers pushing me further down that fine line between reality and euphoria. 

“My dove, that was quick,” his eyes were full of hunger. And so were mine. “I knew you would come around. I knew a slut like you would give into those animalistic behaviors at some point. Now the rest of this will be seamless. All you have to do is stay there and let me fuck you until you go dumb with it.”

My legs were shaking, my pussy clenching on nothing as he ripped them from my body. I might have moaned. Just maybe. 

The male hit the button again and my legs flew down to help support my weight. I had to press on my toes to take some of the pressure off my wrists; pins and needles shot down my fingers and arms from the lack of blood. 

“What do you say, dove? Should I make you cum again? Yeah, I think I’m going to.”

He knelt to the floor and grabbed the back of my calf. I watched, still heaving from my first orgasm. He let it fall over his shoulder, doing the same with the other. Was he going to- oooh gods….

The first pass of his tongue sent my head rolling back, eyes with it. I bucked my hips into his face, meeting his carnal stare. He grinned, chin glistening with my mess. He looked… fuck he looked good. All those sharp, cunning features between my legs. My mind melted and all my morals went with it. 

Here I was: chained to a table with a sadistic, obsessive male, and I was loving the sight of him between my legs. What the fuck is wrong with me? I didn’t have time to answer my own question as content filled me. He lapped over every inch of my entrance and didn’t let up. 

“Gods… fuck- forgive me,” I whimpered out, feeling this overwhelming sensation begin to break apart my seams. I gasped, then screamed. His teeth latched onto the inside of my thigh. He bit me. Hard. Forceful enough to bring tears up and forceful enough to make me bleed. 

“Now if any other male tries to take you, they’ll see my bite and know that if they don’t get out they’re going to be in a world of pain,” he muttered, brushing away the drops of blood with his hand. He resumed the flicks of his tongue, not letting up when I began to see stars.

“Ple-Please,” I shout, arching off the inclined surface and clamping my legs around his head. In a second, I was pinned to the table, his nails digging into the skin of my thighs. A brutal hand came down right over the bite, and I screamed. Fuck that hurt. “Ah- stop.”

“Why? Does it hurt, my prey? It’s fucking supposed to. Now shut the fuck up and take it. Stop acting like you don’t love this.” 

I cried out, his tongue darting up and down my core. My stomach tightened in that familiar way, but I couldn’t give him the satisfaction of another release. I had given him what he wanted, wasn’t that enough?

“Stop holding back.” Another claw of his nails at the backs of my thighs. “Cum now or I will make the next one far less enjoyable.”

I obeyed. I didn’t have a choice. My body just did it. I yelped, straining against the bindings so hard I knew they’d cut my wrists. With my hips pinned under his powerful hold, I twitched and writhed and shook with the force of my second orgasm. I couldn’t stop shaking. Couldn’t stop whining and begging him to stop licking me. 

The male didn’t let up and tears fell out of my lashes. I sobbed. Sobbed. It was too much, too much pressure and pleasure it hurt. It stung. It burned and added to the ever growing pins and needles in my arms. They were numb, and couldn’t keep me up anymore. 

My body flops fully against the table as he keeps a firm grip on me. 

“M-Master please stop-” I begged, “please I need a break.”

Alas, he pulled his head away from my throbbing pussy. The sight of him was… Cauldron spare me. His hair was a tangled mess, and his eyes were full of his pupils. Black, affectionless pits in his face. He looked exactly as he said he was, a predator. A true, hungry, wild predator. 

And I had made him that way. 

“I’m far from done, my dove,” he rose to his full height, tilting the table all the way back. Relief flooded my arms. “I think you’re ready for something else.”

He came around to my head and I watched him, upside down, the light hurting my eyes. He shed the belt around his waist and let it fall to the floor with a loud ‘clang’. His scarred hand put the button through its slit and I could see the outline of him through his pants. 

Holy Mother send me a blessing.

“Yeah, you’re gonna be able to fit it.” “No,” I shook my head. “No that will not fit in my-”

“Well, it’s going to. Open wide, pretty dove. Fuck… look at you. All spread out for me, pink and flush. You look so mouthwatering. So perfect for me to ruin and bruise.”

With another click of a button, the cuffs above my head began to move down. The blood rushed back and I sighed out. They were now at my sides. When I dared a look back up, the male had dropped his pants. Mother fucking- that is not going to-

“Open,” He demanded, palming my jaw. I was in too much shock at the sheer size to really hear it. A slap struck me in the face, and I jolted to the side. “Now. Make me ask again and see what I will do with this.”

My jaw unhinged and he slipped in. I choked, bending my legs to try and gain some leverage. Cool streaks slithered up my feet and around my ankles. they yanked, the force of it pulling me off his cock, and I looked down at the tendrils of shadow curled around my skin. 

“What the fuck-” I shouted until I couldn’t breathe anymore. The male had come around the front of my head and slammed a hand against my throat. The pressure built up in my face, and I coughed, choking on what little air I had left. His eyes were narrow, a snarl on his lips. 

After a few moments, the stars were back, and the room dimmed. Heart pounding. I was right there, so close to losing consciousness when air rushed back into my lungs. I thought I was going to throw up with how hard I was breathing. 

He grabbed my hair and forced me down, shoving his cock back into my throat. All the way. I gagged. I was fully stretched out on the table as he rocked his hips into me. He was tall enough that the table wasn’t a hindrance. 

“I told you dove, bad things happen when you disobey me.”

He almost put me unconscious. My head was foggy, and my vision was still laced with stars. I had no other choice but to take what he was doing. Just like he said I would.

When I closed my eyes, I let my throat relax. He praised me, sinking in further and further. Every other thrust I got a breath. He pulled out once and let the tip of his cock trace around my lips so I could catch a breath. Instead of waiting for him to decide when I was done, I stuck my tongue out in acceptance. 

“My prey is learning so quickly,” he stroked a massive hair down my throat, pressing in. I could feel it prod against the surface of my skin, right where his hand was. “I bet you can feel that, huh? How far down I am?” A quick clench of his digits sent fear rolling back through my body. I couldn’t breathe again- “Shh, I won’t let you suffocate on my cock. There are far too many things we still have left to do. Just relax- that’s it. Look at you! Such a pretty whore, already wrung out on my cock. And I haven’t even been inside you.”

I swallowed around him when he removed his hand. That earned me a deep, rumbling sound from his chest. In the past couple minutes, his voice had dimmed to nothing but a growl. Like he was turning into an animal.

It was so thrilling. 

With every snap of his hips, my whole body rocked with it. Wetness pooled onto the table and I could feel it smear against my skin. He reached down and pulled at my nipple, sending shocks all through my body. “Yeah you can take more. I want you a whimpering mess, you still have a ways to go, don’t you dove?” I nodded my head as best I could. “That’s what I thought.”

His hips snapped into my face, cock stabbing my throat. It was so painful, and my lungs burned for a full breath again. Nothing about the way he was forcing it in told me he was going to let me have one. It could’ve been minutes or hours that he fucked my throat. I wouldn’t have the slightest chance of talking in the morning. And part of me didn’t mind that thought. Or the thought of seeing his marks across my skin. 

I moaned around him. I watched his head draw back, and heard what that had done to him. “Do that again, don’t stop.”

An endless supply of them tumbled out of me and around him. His hips stuttered for a second. Both of his hands palmed the side of my head, bringing it to meet his motions. One-two-three-four-five more later and he shoved all the way in, blocking my airway entirely. Long ropes of cum shot down my throat, forcing me to swallow. Some came back up into my nose. 

When he pulled out, I nearly hurled. The taste wasn’t bad, but the need for air was. I gulped it down, eyes unable to keep themselves open. I could barely feel the cuffs loosen from my writs. I was a limp pile of used limbs. Exactly what he wanted.

I felt like I was in the clouds. 

The next thing I knew was I was on the ground and the freezing concrete woke me up. My hands and knees stung and shook. I felt weightless and like I was a ton at the same time. I couldn’t keep myself up, arms giving out as I went face first into the floor.

All I could hear behind me was the male rugged breathing. Two agonizing slaps were planted on my ass. A garbled scream tore through the air as he did it again. And again. It eventually became so painful I couldn’t feel it. My chest was flat against the ground. 

“I am gonna fuck you,” he told me. “And I am going to hurt you so fucking good. You’re gonna scream and cry until you can’t. I’m gonna fill you all the way up, too. So much it’ll drip out of you for the next hour.”

The tip of his cock swirled through the mess between my legs. “Please, master. Fill me up.”

“That’s it dove,” he pushed in, inch by inch. “Fuck that feels good. I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist me. You’re all mine. All fucking mine to use and breed and fuck whenever I want.”

If I had been anywhere other than wherever I was, people would surely be breaking down my door to rescue me. But I would shew them away and beg for him to continue. He was right. Fuck he felt good inside me. I don’t know how he fits. But then he kept going. And he kept pushing. 

“Look at you, taking my cock like it’s nothing. You look so fucking pretty, my little dove. Fuck yourself on it. Fuck me like the useless, hopeless little creature you are. Maybe if you do a good job, your predator will let you go so he can hunt you again.”

My body was his at that moment. It wasn’t my own to begin with. He had full command over me. And I was happy to let him. I rocked back on my knees, my aching nipples brushing against the floor every time I did. 

The noises were obscene; from our breathless pleas to his cock slipping in and out of my thoroughly soaked pussy… it was the most sinful symphony I had ever heard. 

With earnest I rocked into him until he took over. One hand fisted in my hair and he yanked me up. I couldn’t be bothered to use my arms to help, I let him do all the work. His other hand brushed to where we were connected and over my clit. 

I had already come twice, I didn’t know if I could a third. But he was going to make me, whether I wanted to or not. Just. like. He. Said. 

The sound of our bodies echoed off the walls around us. He cursed deep in his chest while I had the breath fucked out of me. I had to catch myself when he threw my head down so I wouldn’t smack my nose off the stone. He hauled my ass into the pocket of his hips and hovered over me, forcing his body to align with mine. 

His now bare chest was flat against my back, hard muscle contracting as he angled his pelvis into mine over and over. It was a brutal, erotic pace. His promise rang in my head: all fucking mine to use and breed and fuck whenever I want.

“Yeah take it you fucking whore. Take what your master is giving you,” his voice was distant in my ears. His nails scraped groves in the skin of my back, and I let go. I screamed. the tears came and didn't stop. All those emotions– fear, dread, desire– making their way to the surface and erupting as I came again. For a third time. “Fuck, my dove. Again? Gods you are such a slut for my cock. You love this. Being used by me. You’re fucking nothing without my cock to fuck. You were born for me to fuck this tight cunt of yours. To breed.”

I don’t know if my orgasm ever stopped or if they just kept rolling over into the next. 

“My pretty cunt to use. Mine. All fucking mine, isn’t it? Say it dove, who does this body belong to?”

“Y-You, master,” I strangled out through cries and breaths. “It’s all yours, my master.”

His hands crashed down on my shoulders and pinned me to the floor so I wouldn’t move. I wouldn’t move even if I could. And I don’t. I want to stay right here, head far away from all my daily responsibilities as he pounds into me. 

My master’s hips were ruthless. Every pump of his body into mine set my skin on fire. I had never felt pleasure, or pain, quite like this before. I’d never be the same again. He forced me to change to him. And I couldn’t ever change back. There was nothing I could do to stop him from breeding me. And I didn’t want to stop him. 

“F-Fuck, my dove. I’m gonna breed you. Fuck it so deep inside you’ll never have a chance. Ready?”

“Yes yes yes yes yes,” I was incoherent. “Please, master. Fuck me so goooood.”

The noise that came out of him should have terrified me. But it didn’t. He let out a snarl so deep it rattled my bones, rattled the table and the floor with the force of it. I could feel his release inside me, but his hips never slowed. The nails on his fingers caught my skin and ripped it. I’m sure it’ll look like I was attacked by a wild animal in the morning. In a way I was. 

He was feral, snarling and snapping behind me. It was either sweat or saliva that dripped onto my back. 

It went on for a little longer, and then he forced his cock farther than it had pierced a new part of me that I hadn’t ever felt before. I couldn’t tell up from down, right from wrong in the next several minutes as he fucked into me, pushing and pushing and pushing as much of himself as he could into me. I went completely limp and he landed on top of me. 

His warm body was shaking above mine, sweat soaking into my skin. 

Neither of us spoke, neither of us moved. 

When he stirred, he pulled out, making me feel impossibly empty while he rolled me on my back. Then it was back in, and I sighed contently. 

“Would you look at that,” his voice cracked slightly. “My pretty dove has entered a true in between state. You can’t decide what to feel, can you?” The male's hand gripped my chin, forcing me to look at him. I could barrel keep my eyes open anymore, and he let out the cruelest sound I’ve ever heard. “Such a worthless prey. You can’t even speak you're so enthralled with me. What a sight to see.” It didn’t even occur to me that we had never kissed until this instant. His lips were warm and hurried as they claimed mine. I melted into it, especially when he curled his tongue over mine. He moved his hips steadily as he did, drawing in and out a few times before he stayed put. 

I was so many things– ruined above all of them. I didn’t know if I would walk again, if I’d be able to see a dahlia in the garden and not be instantly transported back to these memories. 

Here I was, spent and limp, still at his mercy. And despite the moral side of me, begging me to be disgusted and horrified… I wasn’t. And I wasn’t guilty about it either. I should be, absolutely should be mortified by this whole thing. Yet I wanted- no, I needed it to keep going. To be taken at any point and whisked away from life to be played with. To be hunted. 

It would be a secret I’d take to the grave. Not anything I’d tell anyone. I would keep this between me and the fucking devil. No one else could know how much I craved to be stripped of my rights and dignity. 

I was moved, despite my protests, and hauled over a shoulder. That same suffocating shadow filled me once more and then the stars said hello. With what little energy I had left, I lifted my head off his shoulder and peered around. My meadow greeted me. The bugs and all there too. 

The male slid me off his body and laid me down in the grass. I had also become dressed at some point, my dress put back together. 

“You are free for now, my little prey. But I will find you again, and I will hunt you down no matter where you run to.”

I nodded up at him, a delightful smile on my lips. With a breeze from the crisp autumn air, he was gone, one with the shadows again. I laid there for a moment, not really having a ton of memories of what just happened. All I knew was that I had this ache in my body that filled me with satisfaction.

____

The stars twinkled above me as I pushed to a sitting position, waiting for a while for my mate to come get me. With a mighty beat of his wings, he landed in front of me, that feral look in his eyes gone since we left that underground room. 

“Let’s get you home, my love,” he smiled sweetly, sweat still curling the ends of his hair. I reached my hands up and he gently pulled me to my feet. “I love you so much, Yn. So so much. It was perfect.”

“I know,” I smiled up at him. “I was pretty good.”

“Are you hurting?” I gave him a look that said ‘yes, you idiot, of course I’m hurting’. “Okay yeah stupid question. Let’s go clean you up and then we can soak in the tub and go to bed. I’m sorry if I-” “Shh,” I curled right into his chest when he lifted me up, kissing the side of his neck. “I didn’t safeword, did I?” “Well, no but that doesn’t mean-”

“Yes it does. I may have been under, I may have been afraid, but I was aware. It was everything I could’ve imagined.”

“You’re sure?” he asked again.

I nodded, slurring my words with sleep. “ ‘mm sure. Can we go home now?” “Of course. You are everything I could ever ask for. Thank you for doing that with me.”

“You’re very welcome,” I chuckled.

~~~~~~

[This is just a little bit of background building and the initial conversation between the reader and Azriel about the roleplay. I didn't add it in the beginning because I thought it might break the illusion. Feel free to read or not!]

Azriel had parts of him he was ashamed of. Things he’s done in the past that he is most certainly not proud of, but have become a vital part to who is and why he is that way. There’s nothing that can change those parts of him, not even his mate.

When the two of you first met, it was a thing of the universe. Completely unintentional. You had been delivering a bouquet of flowers from your shop in Velaris; they were the finest ghost orchids and water lilies grown in the Court. A simple pen error on your note card sent you to two houses over from the one that was supposed to receive them.

When you knocked on the door, your heart began to strike faster in your chest. It was an odd feeling to say the least. The door opened and a male answered the door. He had black hair and had the most captivating eyes you’ve ever seen. His voice was like silk when it hit your ears.

“Can I help you?” He asked, folding his arms across his sculpted chest. He was dressed down; a simple shirt and combat pants and boots. 

It took a moment for you to conjure up a response. “I have a delivery. For… Sherion?”

“They live two houses to the left.”

“Oh,” you sighed out, looking back at your card. Surely you had written down the right address, or maybe they accidentally gave you the wrong house number? The row of houses stretched far around the bend of the street, it wasn’t the most impossible thing. “Well, sorry to bother you. Thank you for your help, sir.”

“Azriel,” he introduced, stretching out his hand. 

“Yn,” you replied, offering the male a smile before you stepped down onto the sidewalk. “Enjoy your day!”

Azriel had no idea why he answered the door. Him and his High Lord were in the middle of a very important Court discussion and before the words were even out of Rhysand’s mouth, he was up and moving to answer it. 

And there you were. Standing right in front of him. This small, utterly defenseless faerie, compared to him. You looked so wonderful. That was the only word he could think of: wonderful. You looked enjoyable to be around and comforting. There was a calm to your aura that instantly soothed the roar of the shadows in his ears. 

You looked like everything he wasn’t. You were smooth and soft and unburdened by the weight of your past. Azriel was exactly that. Burdened. Solid. A bastard born Illyrian who had grown up in the cruelest way. Nothing about him was loving. Sure he loved and protected his brothers and the rest of his Court, but he hasn’t ever had one soul all to himself. To love and cherish and spoil with the part of him he didn’t let anyone see. But if he could ask you to give him a chance, he wouldn’t ever take it for granted. 

How he managed to keep his cool, he’ll never know, but as soon as the door shut, he leaned against it, fingertips filled with static as he closed his eyes. He knew that feeling. The one he had with Mor all those years ago, with Elain. But now it was crystal clear. The other ones had been clouded by hundreds of years of rejection. Not this. 

It had taken him a few days to find you, which wasn’t hard. He told Cassian first, who more or less shouted it across the room for Rhysand to hear. The both of them encouraged him to speak with you, to get a better idea if there was any type of bond at all on your end. 

Azriel couldn’t tell when he met you, he brain was too busy being turned to mush by your beauty and grace.

But, eventually, he wandered into your shop at the end of the business sector of Velaris. It was cute, and had your scent all over it mixed in with the calming presence of fresh flowers and other plants. 

The door opened with a chime and he stepped in. The first thing that happened when he shut the door was he knocked over a pot behind it. It shattered on the floor, and he let out a curse.

“Shit,” Azriel whirled around, wings clattering into some windchimes hanging in the window. They fell, thankfully they didn’t break, but they did make a jarring noise. “Cauldron boil me.”

“What is going on?” Your voice rang over the chaos at the front of the store, and when you appeared, your eyes settled on Azriel, and he looked around at the mess he made. 

“I am so sorry, Yn. I didn’t see the pot behind the door and then these things,” Azriel sneered at the windchimes, “came down with it all. It’s a disaster, please, let me help clean it up.”

He watched you look from the pot, to the chimes, to the dirt on his wings. You laughed, so hard you clutched your stomach as you looked at the wary Illyrian.

“It’s okay, sir. It’s not a big deal. I have about a thousand pots in the back that are just laying around.”

“Then let me pay for it, and any of the chimes that I broke,” he tried to smooth his face into anything other than bitter self-resentment, but he probably did a poor job. 

“Nonsense, it was an accident. And I guess I could make my shop a little more accessible to those with wings. It’s not every day that we have Illyrians here.”

The fact that you were willing to rearrange things in your store to accommodate him made his heart swell. Surely there was a blush to his tan skin when he rubbed the back of his neck. 

Azriel couldn’t help but notice the clay smothering your hands, bits and pieces stuck on your face and in your hair. You wore working overalls and a long sleeve striped shirt. The ends of your pants were cuffed and your boots were laced all the way up. 

He thought you looked adorable. Utterly adorable and he just wanted to cherish you. 

You had similar thoughts about Azriel. That he was devastatingly handsome and outrageously gorgeous. Tall, dark hair, and lighter colored eyes. They were a perfectly crafted shade of hazel. The Mother took her time with this one.

You cleared your throat, trying not to blush at your obvious staring. “Is there something I can help you find?”

It took him a second to shake his thoughts together, “Yes, I did come here to buy flowers. Not to destroy your property.”

You couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of you. “What are you looking for?”

“In all honesty I am not really sure. I’m trying to make a gesture, of sorts.”

“I see,” you nodded, looking over your shoulder. “Roses are always romantic, but a little over done in my opinion. There’s always succulents too, everybody always forgets about those guys. They make lovely gifts, are low maintenance, and more difficult to kill.”

“Interesting,” Azriel nodded along. “What about these?”

“These are wild bouquets. They are grown in the Hills, just field flowers but they look stunning all put together. A lot of them are imports from other Courts, brought here long before Prythian was Prythian. They grow freely in the plains and farmland.”

“Do they all have their own names or are they all just classified as wildflowers?” Azriel couldn’t have given a less of a fuck about what they were classified as, he just enjoyed hearing you talk about something you were obviously passionate about. 

You looked at him like a normal person, not at the scars on his hands or the wings over his shoulders. He wasn’t sure what to think of it all. You didn’t fear him, which was odd enough, and you didn’t avert your eyes. It was like you didn’t know who he was, which was going to be hard to believe. But if, by some miracle, you didn’t, he would be grateful. So so grateful. 

“Yeah, these are lavender, baby breath, candy fruit, blue flax… whatever is blooming is picked and wrapped up. These are just seasonal, there aren’t too many flowers that bloom wildly in Velaris outside of spring and summer, and even then it’s difficult to grow without a greenhouse.”

“I see, I see,” the Illyrian said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I’ll grab one of those then. And one of those succulents you were talking about.”

With a clap of your hands, you snatched up a fuller set of wildflowers and set them on the counter by the register. On a shelf beside a display of pots and vases, you looked around before finding a great candidate. It was in a lovely array of echeveria in a triangular prism. 

“Will that be all?” You asked, typing in the total and showing him. 

“Yes,” he nodded once, handing you a palm-full of coins. “Please keep the change.”

“But- I don’t understand, this is twice the amount of the total cost?”

“I broke one of your lovely pots, it’s the least I can do.”

“You know I could rehydrate that, throw it again and make the exact same one in less than an hour, right?”

Azriel blinked. “Then consider it a shop donation.”

You looked from the change in your hand, to the man in front of you, back to the change. “I won’t be able to get you to take this back, will I?”

“No,” Azriel smirked, taking the flowers and succulent off the counter. “Thank you for your kindness, Yn.”

“Yours as well, Azriel.”

______

When it came time to close down the shop, you hauled in the signs outside advertising the sale for the day. You wiped the counters and swept the floors, fixing a few things on the chimes that got knocked over earlier. As you locked up, there was a rush of air behind you, making you jump.

“Mother above!” you shouted, clutching your chest when Azriel stood behind you. “What are you doing here?”

Azriel didn’t say anything as he tucked in his wings, extending the bouquet he bought just hours ago to you.

“Oh, did you need to exchange them? I can run back inside and get you a new one if-”

“They’re for you, Yn,” he said. “I was hoping to catch you as you were leaving to ask if you’d like to come have dinner with me?”

With a sparkle in his eye, a smirk on his lips, it was pretty hard to say no. Not that you wanted to say no anyway. It was pretty obvious that both of you were attracted to each other, in more ways than one. You were worried that it had been one sided. 

And that was how it all started. One silly little typo of an address led you to the most devoted, selfless, and understanding male you could’ve asked for. Azriel could do it all. It took a while to get to that place, but it happened. It took a while to gain his full trust, but once you did, there wasn’t an area of his life you didn’t know about and admire.

He was so brave. So tenacious and powerful. Not to mention all of the other lovely physical aspects you learned about. Every aspect of your relationship was stunning. So rich and enjoyable. Every day was truly a new adventure with Azriel and the rest of his family; not to mention how awesome everyone else had been. Well, mostly everyone. Nesta and Amren were a little hard to crack, but Cassian, Feyra, and Rhysand quickly became some of the most important people in your life. 

As time went on, more and more things were revealed between the two of you. The mating bond clicked and it was like taking a first breath all over again. It was over stimulating, in an unexplainably pleasant way. 

Being able to feel, to hear everything the other was thinking was an experience you wouldn’t ever grow tired of having. 

Azriel was tender, as tender as he knew how to be with you. He did a lot of learning from you on how you wanted to be loved, and vice versa. Azriel was complicated, but that didn’t make him unlovable by any means. It only made you love him more, just so he knew that he could be. 

He wasn’t pushy about getting you into his bed, but you certainly didn’t mind taking that leap at one of the first hints. If his beauty was an indicator of just how thorough he was, boy were you in for a rude awakening. 

He was flawless between your legs. So calculated and willing to give. But you quickly learned there were other sides to him you wanted to explore. 

It started slowly, calling him ‘sir’ here and there to get a rise out of him. Which only leads to him asking you to try new things with him. You had always been a ‘why not try everything once’ kind of person. Extending beyond the bedroom. Azriel never pressured you to do something you didn’t want to, and there was almost nothing that he suggested that you rejected. 

From a little bit of bondage to taking you in other areas of the House, it started slow, and then progressively got more and more intense. More real domination and exploration. The list of things that turned you on was growing rapidly thanks to him.

One day, while the two of you were sitting in your home, it was clear there was something on his mind. 

____

READER POV

I watched as Azriel adjusted himself in his chair for the fifth time in ten minutes. He was squirming and outright fidgeting. 

“Okay, what is going on with you? I’ve never seen you like this before.” I paused my flower arrangement and sat down in front of him. 

Azriel wouldn’t meet my eyes. 

“Love, what is it?”

He let out a sigh, deep and heavy and full of something he clearly didn’t want to speak about. “I was just thinking… It's nothing important. I don’t want to ask it of you anyway.”

“Why not?” I furrowed my brows. “You know there isn’t anything you could say to me that would make me cower.”

“That’s exactly what I want.” Your breath caught in your throat. Azriel shook his head, folding his arms across his chest. “I’ve had this- this fantasy of you for a long time and it is something so dark and outright dangerous that I’ve been afraid to ask.”

A chill spread down my spine when he looked at me. Those eyes meant trouble; whenever we roleplayed, he got this look, this look, when I disobeyed him. It could’ve crumbled anyone to their knees. But me? It lonely lit me on fire. 

“Azriel, tell me.” 

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. You know I will not judge you,” I stressed, swinging a leg over his lap, laying my hands over his shoulders. “I promise.”

His hands found my thighs, which he rubbed to soothe himself. He took in a deep breath before he spoke. 

“Do you remember when we went to Summer? After the wedding?”

That was totally not what I was preparing for. “Yes? Of course I do.”

“Well, when Tarquin let us into those fields, and you were just picking flowers… I couldn’t help but think about how delicate you looked. You looked so peaceful and alone and I couldn’t stop thinking about how vulnerable you were. How easy you would be to overpower with your back turned. You’d be defenseless and- gods I sound ridiculous.”

“No, no you don’t. Keep going.” “Yn it doesn’t get better,” Azriel clenched his jaw. “I shouldn’t have these thoughts and I know it’s wrong-” “There is nothing wrong with having a fantasy and expressing it to me.”

His eyes were wide, lips parted. Azriel’s grip tightened on your hips. “I wanted to do nothing but force you to take me. To just- completely control you and have my way with you. You looked so innocent and perfect in the sundress and I wanted to ruin it. Ruin you. All over again. But with this animalistic part of me that I’ve never met. And then I just kept thinking about chasing you. Hunting you down and capturing you and tying you up. Fucking you senseless and forcing you to take whatever I wanted to do to you.”

I stared at him. And stared at him again. Fucking fuck… Azriel wanted to hunt me? To do things that most certainly shouldn’t have me writhing against him. He was already hard just talking about doing it. And I definitely shouldn’t have found it so hot. 

He was right, it was a little sick and fucked up, but it was such a thrilling idea. 

Azriel had this presence about him. Everyone he passed on the street was afraid of him. He drank it in. He loved when people were afraid of him. Well, everyone except me. He couldn’t stand the sight of seeing me scared, or at least I thought. 

Images flashed in my mind: of running through the woods, unable to escape him as he chased me. Hunger written all over his face. Azriel effortlessly overpowering me. Forcing me to his hands…

“Oh, I see,” he startled me out of my daydream. Shit, I must’ve sent those images down the bond. “My little dove enjoys that thought, doesn’t she?”

“I don’t dislike it, if that’s what you mean,” I rasped, looking at him through half-hooded eyes. 

“You want me to hunt you, don’t you?”

I shouldn’t nod. I really fucking shouldn’t. But he already had me under his spell, and I could not say no. The idea was so tempting, so profound and beyond anything we’ve ever done that I couldn’t think of anything more exhilarating. It would be terrifying, he would be terrifying, but there would be this primal fear coursing through me… secretly wanting all of it. 

“Say it.”

“I want it, Az.”

“Want what?” He grabbed my chin, forcing my lips apart. “You have to say it, dove.”

My chest rose and fell quickly, already feeling that power of his in my blood. Through the bond. “I want you to hunt me. To capture me.”

Azriel's eyes physically changed colors in that moment. They went dark. Very dark. He bared his teeth, nostrils flaring as he moved his hand to my throat. “I am going to vanish and you are not going to be able to see me coming. I am going to hunt you like the pretty little dove that you are and there isn’t anything you can do to stop it. You can run, you can pray to whatever you believe in, but no one will be around to save you when I come for you.”

I nodded, eyes fixed on his lips. “How- how should I prepare?” Azriel let out a dark laugh, pulling me right to his face. “Oh, my pretty little dove, you won’t be able to. It’ll be so unpredictable that you won’t know what's happening. I’ll even make the bond go dark. There will be nothing loving about what I am going to do to you.”

_______

My hand had already found its way between my thighs on the first night. Thoughts wild with what's to come. Of course I know it’s just Azriel, but I know that it’s not going to feel like Azriel. To look or sound like him. He was going to hunt. Me. And I was going to let him.

[inbarfink]

The ‘Escapades‘ in TGAA1 are already such a top-tier idea. I mean, I really wish we could’ve had those in any of the other games somehow.... Overall they’re an incredibly delightful addition to the game, and taking them individually, the least good ones are still like ‘well, that was a fun little vignette for these characters, I’m just not sure if it 100% gels with the main events of the game’.

And I think my favorite one right now has to be the first one, ‘In the Defendant Antechamber’. It just does… so much great stuff to the Asoryuu dynamic, recontextualizes everything that comes after in a way that makes it even better and just feels like such an Essential Viewing for really understanding these two. 

It’s just… you can go through the entire game with Ryunosuke constantly calling Kazuma his ‘best friend’, the ‘person I trusts more than anyone else’ and you might just casually assume that these two go a long way back. Maybe not as much as Kazuma and Susato since Ryunosuke doesn’t have all the details about his childhood, but seeing how much they mean for each other, they must’ve known each other for a while, right?

NOPE

THEY MET IN COLLEGE

ABOUT A YEAR AGO

They’ve known each other for a year, just a pretty ordinary year of school, and they’re already got that Unbreakable Homoerotic Bond of Trust, and Ryunosuke is fully willing to lay down his life for the sake of Kazuma’s dream of going to London. And Kazuma is fully willing to abandon his literal Life Mission of clearing his dead father’s name and avenging him in the shame of failing to defend Ryunosuke. And he drags Ryunosuke with him to London because he knows that he’s the only one who can keep him from straying from his path. And then Ryunosuke decides to dedicate his entire life in the memory of Kazuma. His college buddy. 

But they’re not just college buddies. Because in that one year, they did forge such powerful emotional bonds that all of these actions make sense for them. Because they’re just that kind of Ridiculous Human Beings and I LOVE IT!!

And the story of how they met is just… perfection. Like, if you look at the pre-‘death’ Asoryuu dynamic, it’s very ‘Japan’s most amazing promising young lawyer-samurai is absolutely enamored with an Anxiety-Ridden Human Disaster’. Kazuma Asogi is the Proudest Moronsexual and Ryunosuke Naruhodo is dating way beyond his league.

But also….the thing that drew Kazuma to Ryunosuke in the first place is the fact that he bested him at something. Kazuma is this rising star at Yumei University, he’s got the brains and the brawn, it seems like he is poised for success and glory for the rest of his days - and then this anxious innocuous little goofball beats him… humiliates him even. Ryunosuke beat the star student of Yumei University without any ambition or ill-intention, he was just being himself, he is just this silly little linguistic dork who likes tongue-twisters. 

And Kazuma feels no real resentment or spite about this defeat. He was beaten at his own game by such a silly little guy and all he feels is respect and affection and appreciation. A desire for friendship. Maybe even love. 

And meanwhile, Ryunosuke has just kinda forgotten that this is how they met. I mean, it's not like he totally forgotten it, but... it doesn't seem to register as particularly Notable in his own memories. It's just not that important to him. That was probably a life-changing unforgettable event for Kazuma, but when Ryunosuke thinks about their friendship he just thinks about hanging out after class and eating Yakisoba together. Because that’s just the kinda guy Ryunosuke is, and I think Kazuma appreciates that just as much as his tongue-twister skills.

Also, it kinda connects to an idea I brought up in a previous post, that Kazuma Asogi is less of a direct counterpart to Miles Edgeworth and more of a… mirror image, an inversion.

Phoenix and Miles’ friendship started with Miles saving Phoenix…

A moment which was a world-changing story for Phoenix that literally defined his entire life, but Miles, although he always kept his memories of Phoenix close to his heart, can barely remember it. 

Ryunosuke and Kazuma’s friendship started with Ryunosuke beating Kazuma. A moment that is… certainly not the most important thing in Kazuma’s life, but one that has certainly made his mark on him, and one that he is not going to forget. But Ryunosuke just... doesn't really think about it unless it's directly brought up.

And it’s just… such a good piece of characterization for both of them on every thematic level, I just love it so much!!

[brain-amoeba]

tony stark x f!college!reader (unfinished)

(a/n: i must sleep so i can't finish fic but wanna see if this'll even interest anyone so here's a part 1/preview i suppose!

hope you guys catch the subtle iron man 1 reference and the little fourth wall break moment heehee. this one is for all of my girlies who absolutley crash and burn in social settings.)

warnings: age gap

Celebrity galas-- glasses pouring to life with champagne, attendees decked out in dresses that cost more than your tuition, and everyone sucked and tucked to absolute perfection. To be honest, you were completely out of your element-- but it would take more than silicone faces and fat wallets to scare you away tonight. As fate would have it, your university friend's father was employed by Stark Industries, and able to snag tickets to Tony's annual charity gala for the both of you in the name of "networking". Now, you were a studious young woman and by no means an airhead, but you were pursuing a notoriously difficult field of study that one Tony Stark happened to lead. Was this a longshot? Major understatement. Were you still determined to go after this? Absolutely.

Forging professional connections, rubbing corporate elbows, and enjoying a night with the stars would send your average college student reeling, but you were on a divine mission: to recruit Mr. Stark himself as your personal tutor. Was it presumptuous? Maybe a little…But you heard so much about some spider fella named Peter Parker who's rumored to be Tony's young protege! If a high schooler could earn such a role, what could stop you? (Well he is a spider and you're not, so…)

"Quiet you." You hiss under your breath, the sudden sound of your voice breaking your stream of consciousness. You were brought right back to reality-- the uproarious chatter, live music, and dancing couples around you soon dwarfed you and your sense of self worth. After such a brash display of confidence, albeit only in your head, you cursed yourself for falling just short of your goal. You made it all this way, you were handed the opportunity of a lifetime on a silver platter, and you were seriously about to throw it all away and bail all because of a feeling akin to first day jitters? If a flutter in your stomach was all it took to stop you, then maybe you didn't deserve Mr. Stark's guidance in the first place. Maybe you didn't even deserve to be here in the first place. Maybe you…needed a damn drink.

You walked with immense purpose to the bar, almost shoulder checking the gentleman to your left as you set your clutch on the counter and fumbled around for your cash. The bartender flashed a knowing glance. "A dirty martini please. Extra dry, extra olives." Your order may as well be a prayer and your cash on the counter, an offering. The bartender (and God) was not the only one who heard your prayer, though. The gentleman to your left turned to face you, looking down at you with a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. The bartender handed you your drink, and you quickly, yet politely, took a sip. Have to maintain some decorum.

"You know, usually I'm the one buying drinks for the ladies. How did you know that's exactly what I wanted?" Your brain did not immediately register that your presence was acknowledged and you slowly turned towards the male voice that beckoned you. In that moment you could have sworn your heart fell fifty feet into your ass and down to hell. Without thinking, you reached a hand up to the gentleman's face, holding his cheek then immediately recoiling and nearly screaming. "It is you! I'm not just dreaming!" You mused, and just as soon yanked from cloud nine as the immediate realization of what you've done kicked in. "Oh my god. I just touched Tony Stark, oh my god. Wait, you're Tony Stark, who am I talking to? I just touched you! What am I saying? I'm so sorry!" You stumbled over your words like a newborn deer and fumbled with your glass awkwardly before putting it to your lips again. A little more liquid encouragement and maybe you won't make an absolute ass of yourself again.

You felt a warm hand atop your wrist, bringing the glass down from your face. "Let me have a sip of that, will you?" Without a word of approval, Tony commandeered your drink, with your hand still attached to the glass no less. "I hate these things. I usually never attend these days…" He took another sip, then gently removed your hand from the glass and held it in his. "…But I was told maybe this time it couldn't hurt, that I could benefit from some good press, maximize shareholder value, bring peace on Earth and goodwill to men, all that jazz." Surely this is the part where you wake up and realize you slept through your morning calculus lecture, right? That you'll be back in your dorm, cozy under covers, clad in a random free shirt from a campus event, 3 sizes too big? Surely?

"I-I don't know how to maximize shareholder value…" You replied, utterly dejected. What does that even mean? Who is a shareholder? What do they value? "Neither do I, darling." He replied with a lighthearted chuckle. Upon taking a more sincere look at you, Tony felt a twinge of guilt. You were a nervous wreck, and your fresh face told him you were at least 10 years his junior. He pitied you, and subconsciously held your hand a bit tighter. "Tell you what, why don't we go get some fresh air? Not like you're going to miss much in here anyway." Tony offered, finishing your drink and tossing a wad of cash the bartender's way. You nodded your head meekly, too overwhelmed to speak. You were out of body, even moreso out of your mind, for agreeing and going off alone(!) with Mr. Stark.

[sharoo]

Canto 7 thoughts

So me and my pals finished canto 7 yesterday and just. Projmoon how do you keep one-upping yourselves. How are you going to keep one-upping yourself we still have 5 episodes of Inferno and god knows what more after that.

So like a lot of fans i'm gonna leave my thinkpiece here and try to sort out the emotions I have about it all. This is going to be rambly as heck.

Family and how messy that can be

Bloodfiend families kind of make me short-circuit when I get thinking about them. A chosen family of blood, but one with an unfortunate power dynamic, where the children cannot willingly disobey or harm their parents.

Old Don Quixote was a good guy. He was an idealist, he treated his kids well, he wanted the best of for them. But so often they did not have a choice in his antics. Sancho herself even says, during the Bloodfiend war days, that she could not leave him.

And the fall of La Manchaland involves several instances of him making choices for others without considering them. Forcing Sancho to leave when, as the story clearly shows us, DQ is in large part her reason for living and happiness; forcing the family to first live off of flavourless mush for 200 years and then locking them away to endlessly keep on starving as they're unable to die, all for the safety of humanity.

Don Quixote has the air of someone who centres his actions on what he feels is right or wrong, not necessarily considering others?

But as someone once said, any action committed in the name of love exists outside the framework of good and evil.

I do not think DQ was evil, nor were the bloodfiends. They were just trying to survive and do what felt right. And really, Don sums it up best - he was upset with them, they were upset with him. It's not black and white.

Really, the villain here is their illness and what it forces them to do to stave it off.

But also we have another family. The family of a Bloodfiend who all her life insisted she'd start none. A chosen family who forged their closeness in blood, yet do not share it.

Heathcliff's line about your coworkers being kind of like family (of course it's him saying that, seeing how the dead rabbits replaced the Earnshaws) and then the entire group talking about how much Sancho means to them, how much her bravery inspired them...

All culminating in her telling her father about this wonderful family of twelve she's acquired. God, that just killed me in the softest way possible.

Both Don Quixotes have large families of those younger than them who are ready to fight with them, who are going to support them.

Except our Don does not have the undertone of an imbalanced power dynamic over the sinners that her father had over her and her siblings.

Even just how Sinclair, the youngest of the Sinners, looks up to Don, wants to be like her, mimicking how Sancho wanted to be like DQ as described in Hero. It's so good!

Choice

During the dungeon, we had a discussion with my friends over the postulates older Don posed - that bloodfiends cannot change their nature.

I am of the opinion that you cannot change if you are not given choice or are not aware that you have a choice. And there's a difference in meaning. When people in a state of depression bemoan unchangeability, they often are blind to the tiny changes, they wish they could drastically alter themself in an instance in order to remove whatever part of them poses them trouble. That's what Don the elder sees - they could not change.

For most of the canto, Sancho denies her ability to be better too. Bloodfiends cannot den their nature, it's useless to try. Her choices were either made for her (leaving la manchaland on Rocinante) or were made in the name of avoiding pain (forgetting oneself and slipping into a dream delusion).

But in the end, she realises that the dream of Don Quixote is one she and her father shared. That he did not force her into it, but that she inherited it through choice, through interest, through being inspired, little by little.

She chooses to continue it for them both, now that her father is too exhausted to dream it. The title of Don Quixote, much like in our world for some, becomes a symbol of daring to have a dream.

The duality of "dream as delusion" and "dream as tomorrow"

I love the dual meaning here. I love how the canto is called the Dream Ending yet in its final minutes our Don's rebuttal is literally "The Dream Un-Ending". I love how it flips her "needing to wake up" on its head.

It's not the idea of heroism she has to abandon, it's her dream of escape. Sancho became Don Quixote to escape pain. But she cannot change and become better if she just leaves all choices to her amnesiac self.

Sancho's Don Quixote act really began as wilful delusion. An escape from pain into this hope that she shared with her father, really, the most valuable elements of the memories she'd be erasing.

But that "delusion" ended up genuinely inspiring others. Especially our boy Sinclair, who wants to be like her, brave and strong.

Now she's awake to actively engage with the world, to strive for the better, to consciously dream. To hope.

The line between hopeful ideal and delusion is really just... in the eye of the beholder. At what point is it alright to chastise hope?

To wake up from it, to abandon it... it's not worth it, especially in this City ready to crush you into pieces the moment you stop hoping for a better tomorrow.

The Christian undertones

They put a confessional in La Manchaland, I get to discuss the christian undertones of the entire set up. Is it thematic? Idk, it's fun for me tho :]

Of course I in no way want to imply that this is universal for Christianity, just that, depending on your religious surrounding, it can lead to such interpretations; speaking from a perspective of a former Catholic who used to be really religious, I do see this theme of selflessness at all cost emerging here.

Selflessness and sacrifices for the sake of others can, in the right amount, be necessary and beautiful and noble. The issue is where that line crosses into indirect harm.

How much happiness must you deny yourself for the sake of others in order to be "good"? Is it even worth it?

Bloodfiends, by their nature, crave blood. It's not something they can just deny themselves. It can't kill them but the emotional toll of it is not much better.

And now imagine framing that necessity as "sin". I mean for goodness' sake, they built a confessional where bloodfiends could talk with a priest about their forbidden craving. They have to be penitent for something they cannot control.

Blood is their forbidden fruit. They disobey the teachings of the Father who built them a paradise in order to taste it, and they are subsequently punished.

[thebunnednun]

Shadows of the Blade Dracule Mihawk x Fem!Reader

He's kinda growing on me. This was a request from someone that wishes to remain anonymous. Lemme know what you guys think.

Chapter One: A Chance Encounter

The sea breeze whispered through the sails of the Thousand Sunny as it sailed across the vast expanse of the Grand Line. On the deck, amidst the hustle and bustle of the Straw Hat Pirates, you found yourself lost in thought, gazing out at the endless horizon.

As the newest addition to the crew, you couldn't help but feel a sense of awe and excitement at the adventures that lay ahead. But amidst the thrill of exploration, there was also a lingering sense of loneliness, a longing for companionship in this unfamiliar world.

Little did you know, fate had other plans in store.

It was on a quiet evening watch that you first encountered him - Dracule Mihawk, the enigmatic swordsman known as the "Greatest Swordsman in the World." He stood alone on the deck, his long black coat billowing in the wind as he practiced his swordsmanship with effortless grace.

Approaching him cautiously, you couldn't help but feel a sense of trepidation in the presence of such a formidable figure. But to your surprise, Mihawk acknowledged your presence with a nod, his sharp gaze meeting yours with a hint of curiosity.

"New to the crew, I presume?" he remarked, his voice low and measured.

You nodded, unable to suppress the nervous flutter in your chest. "Yes, I joined recently. My name is [Name]."

Mihawk inclined his head in acknowledgment. "Dracule Mihawk," he introduced himself, his tone calm and composed. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance."

Despite the initial tension, a tentative conversation began to unfold between you. You spoke of your dreams and aspirations, sharing stories of your past and your journey to the Grand Line. And in return, Mihawk offered insights into the world of swordsmanship, sharing anecdotes from his own storied career.

As the hours passed, you found yourself drawn to Mihawk's quiet strength and wisdom, finding solace in his company amidst the vastness of the sea. And though you knew little of his past or his motivations, there was a mutual respect that began to blossom between you, bridging the gap between stranger and friend.

And so, under the watchful gaze of the stars, a bond was forged between two unlikely companions - one a humble member of the Straw Hat crew, the other a legendary swordsman of the seas. And as the night wore on, you couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope that perhaps, in this unpredictable world, friendship could be found in the most unexpected of places.

______________________________________________________________

Story continued: *Shadows of the Blade (Dracule Mihawk x Assassin reader)

This is also posted on the a03 account by the same name. I also have a sexy MIhawk x Maid reader posted in the masterlist! Please go check it out!

Please check out my other works and leave likes and comments, they really help. Drop a follow as well if you please. Don't be shy to leave me a little reblog if you want.

Seen you soon my loves!!~ <<33

[a-halo-for-you]

Grishaverse Tribute

I'm pissed. I'm vengeful. I'm going to march on Netflix.

The cancellation is uncalled for, now all we will see in return for the snubbing of one of the best series on Netflix, with one of the best fandoms, cast and creators another stupid documentary glorifying a serial killer, another shitty teen show with no plot but plenty of sex (because sexualizing children will be something they always get away with), and another over-marketed pointless action film with some former boxer or wrestler leading it who can't really act more than one type of nice-buff guy.

In my mournful and restless vengeful spirit, I have come up with another playlist dedicated to the Grishaverse, the fans, the cast and Leigh Bardugo. This breaks their hearts so much because we know how excited and passionate they were about telling this story, and to think now so many won't be able to go on and live their beloved characters through to the end. I can't stand it.

"None of this had been fated; none of it foretold. There had been no prophecies of a demon king or a dragon queen, a one-eyed Tailor, Heartrender twins. They were just the people who had shown up and managed to survive. But maybe that was the trick of it: to survive, to dare to stay alive, to forge your own hope when all hope had run out. For the survivors then, Zoya whispered to herself as the people before her knelt and chanted her name. And for the lost." - Leigh Bardugo, Rule of Wolves

I got to dream through them, Shadow and Bone saved my Covid years, when I was alone in a dorm learning online, unable to be with anyone else, with no friends and no family. I had little to no confidence and was stuck in a place that scared me. But then I had Shadow and Bone, I had these amazing characters and when I dove into the books, I found so much more. (A found family is my favourite literary trope for a reason.)

“Kaz leaned back. "What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?" "Knife to the throat?" asked Inej. "Gun to the back?" said Jesper. "Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina. "You're all horrible," said Matthias." - Leigh Barugo, Six of Crows

This is a playlist for all of us who are mourning and for all of us willing to fight on. I've seen petitions already posted on change.org, lets sign them all, share them all and try our best to change this while we can. Warrior Nun got their season 3. Who says we can't? Who says we shouldn't? Brick by Brick we will build our season 3, or we'll go down trying.

“Have any of you wondered what I did with all the cash Pekka Rollins gave us?" "Guns?" asked Jesper. "Ships?" queried Inej. "Bombs?" suggested Wylan. "Political bribes?" offered Nina. They all looked at Matthias. "This is where you tell us how awful we are," she whispered.” - Leigh Bardugo, Crooked Kingdom

Pardon the ecclectic taste of this long playlist, but there are so many types of song that I feel fit the plot, the charcaters and themes as well as their relationships to each other. This has sparked inspiration in me to create more playlists catering to the Grishaverse and I'll do that alongside my usual playlist posts.

I would also like to say that this playlist isn't just mine, it's for everyone and I would love for any fans of the show or books to let me know if they have any songs that they love to be added to the playlist and I will do so.

There are over 60 songs on this playlist, so I'm not going to write them all here for obvious reasons, I hope none of you mind that.

For our founding mother Leigh Bardugo. For the Six of Crows; Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Nina Zenik, Matthias Helvar. For our S+B crew; Alina Starkov, Malyen Oretsev, The Darkling, Baghra Morotzova, Nikolai Lantsov, Zoya Nazyalensky, Genya Safin, David Kostyk, Tolya Yul-Bataar, Tamar Kir- Bataar, Nadia and Adrik Zhabin.

Let the revival of Season 3 be our final grand mission.

Lets stream the show, post more art, more fanfics, more posts, more petitions. Let's fight for what we can.

No Mourners, No Funerals.

'Yuyey sesh'

'Ni weh sesh'

[allwaswell16]

All the One Direction fics I read and enjoyed in October 2023. You can listen to my podcast to hear me talk about each of these fics as well as an overview of what was posted on ao3 including the fics on this month’s fic roundup which you can find here! Please let the writers know if you liked the fics by leaving kudos and comments! Happy reading!

Fanfictional Podcast #55 |  ko-fi | fic recs

—Louis/Harry—

🎃 your memory over me by @shimmeringevil

(E, 64k, exes) The worst heartbreak of Louis’ life walks right back into it when his parents invite their family friends on an all-expenses-paid trip for their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. Facing a past that he tried to bury long ago, Louis learns that some people have a way of sticking with you even when they’re gone

🎃 saw some things on the other side by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

(M, 61k, murder mystery) Unfortunately, Louis’ plan doesn’t take into account the fact that instead of writing murder mysteries, he will find himself in one.

🎃 Fight For Us by @fallinglikethis

(E, 11k, a/b/o) one dark night, long after all of the other omegas in the pen have fallen asleep, biology comes calling for Louis.

🎃 Rainy Days and Leaves by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

(E, 9k, uni) Louis works at a coffee shop and spells Harry's name wrong on his cups.

🎃 could start a cult by @nouies

(E, 8k, FBI agents) Harry can’t get enough of Louis’ breast milk.

🎃 Peaky Blinders Louis (series) by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird

(E, 8k, historical) Three years ago, Louis ran with the Peaky Blinders. He thought he left that life behind, but his past might finally be catching up with him.

🎃 Let Me Taste Your Silhouette by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28

(E, 4k, pwp) the one where Harry accidentally posts a picture to his main Instagram story instead of only to his close friends, and he just happens to be wearing a 28 Official Programme shirt. Louis happens to notice

🎃 Toil and Trouble by stretchmybones / @harryslonecurl

(E, 3k, sirens) Harry and Louis are sirens who suck the souls out of humans in order to make potions

🎃 David S Pumpkins by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(NR, 3k, supernatural elements) Louis has a Halloween party to go to, and the perfect outfit to wear. It's a little odd that people in weird clothes keep appearing and disappearing. Skeleton outfits? A three piece suit covered in pumpkins? Mysterious.

🎃 like a dream but i wasn't asleep by @alwaysxlarrie

(G, 2k, strangers to lovers) It's cold outside and Harry just wants to get into his hotel room and go to bed. It should be a simple task, but it’s made more challenging by his complicated relationship with gravity, a booking mixup, and a really hot guy.

🎃 Touch the Sky and Kiss the Sun by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(T, 2k, soulmates) Louis Tomlinson knows without a shadow of a doubt that Harry Styles is his soulmate. Harry Styles, Louis is virtually certain, is completely unawares of this fact.

🎃 Don't Forge Me by larry_hiatus / @larry-hiatus

(G, 2k, established relationship) Harry knows he won’t see Louis again for a while, but when he reads the confusing note tucked amongst the melons and pineapple flowers, Harry wonders if he’ll ever see Louis again…

🎃 Trackies by Larry_you_know / @larryyouknow

(E, 2k, established relationship) Louis and Harry are having another anniversary. For Harry, Louis' hints to what he would like to be gifted are very confusing. OR The one where trackies*com isn't the place where you buy tracksuits.

🎃 Run To You by @neondiamond

(G, 2k, established relationship) Harry injures himself while out on a morning run. Louis comes to his rescue.

🎃 You of course, Always you. by bunnyhusbands / @louisgayvodka

(G, 1k, friends to lovers) “Tell me what?” “That I'm in love with you”

🎃 Dearest Gemma (I fell in love) by Thingssicant / @slowlyseducedbycurls

(G, 1k, epistolary) Harry writes letters to his sister while he impatiently waits for his lover to propose

—Rare Pairs—

🎃 Bloom by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

(T, 28k, Louis/Liam) In early 1970s Oxford, Detective Sergeant Louis Tomlinson has to deal with the dual pressures of a case that hits too close to home, and the arrival of new colleague Liam Payne.

🎃 Cold Spring by @nouies

(E, 8k, Louis/Pedro Pascal) Louis is a coffee shop owner and Pedro is his newest customer.

🎃 two languages, one love by @nouies

(NR, 3k, Louis/Cillian Murphy) The three times Louis speaks to Cillian in Spanish, and the one time he finally gets a response.

🎃 Amenable by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

(E, 3k, Zayn/Louis) Zayn guides Louis through a marathon day of fucking, exploring Louis' submissive side through a series of varied constraints.

[proxylynn]

Blorbo: Fat Tony (very underrated character on this blog)

{That he is. *summons him from the dead*}

[Don Marion Anthony D'Amico, better known as Fat Tony, is one of the best characters on the show and his lore is, for whatever reason, the most well-maintained in the show. Or it was till they fucking killed him off but then replaced him with his identical cousin then proceeded to treat him as if he was the real Tony. THAT'S BULLSHIT! This is the "Tale of Two Skinners" all over again. But I'll leave my venomous rant for the end. I want to gush over this sweet man first.

Unlike Sideshow Bob, the show brings in Fat Tony a lot but not too much so that he gets stale (his celebrity VA is expensive but he loves the character so much he is always happy to do episodes). Tony is a guy who had humble dreams and then one thing led to another, next thing he knew he was henching with the mob before doing so well he climbed the ranks to become the boss himself. While cliché as it is that tough guys can't show weakness, Tony was a good man when it came to his crew and his eventual family, which brought him respect...except from The Calebresis but they ain't a problem no more. A faithful husband, loving father, and caring boss, Tony held loyalty all around him. His only negatives were of course his business dealings. And while some are often silly (such as putting cotton balls on ferrets to pass off as toy poodles or selling rat milk to schools), others are very very bad. Like, wow I didn't notice this as a kid but holy shit kind of bad.

Some examples are the following...Illegal fireworks, bootleg merchandise, gambling, sabotage, illegal trafficking (tobacco & alcohol), organized crime, bribery, smuggling, extortion, money laundering, murder, prostitution, loansharking, kidnapping, counterfeiting, highway robbery, faulty construction, numbers, smuggling heroin, arson, and forging legal documentation such as birth certificates and passports.

Still, as bad as all that is, he hardly ever suffered from consciousness. But when he did, man, they hit hard. His wife dies "whacked by natural causes" (it's questionable but plausible). He gets shot to hell and put in a coma. And the worst one, the betrayal of someone he considered his best friend which is too much for his overworked heart...he dies of a heart attack and joins his wife with his grave beside hers. This would have been an ok send-off...But they fucked it up!

Fit Tony, then later Fit-Fat Tony, and now known as the New and Improved Fat Tony (<- big fucking lie!) pisses me off to no end 'cause while I like more Tony lore, I hate how he's portrayed while carrying Tony's name. (They literally named this guy Marion Anthony Paul D'Amico...WTF?!) This faker holds none of real Tony's charm.

OG Tony was monogamous and died a widower/single father.

FitFake Tony is married but is a bigamist, having no issue with having mistresses. (He's implied to have a daughter but that's in the noncanon comics)

OG Tony cared about his crew, he showed them respect, and he was held with such regards that none but the stupid would dare stand to him.

FitFake Tony sees the crew as tools, he comes across as really too soft and not all that intimidating, and the members of the crew have turned on him multiple times.

The real kicker is this guy lives in his dead cousin's home, now lives his life, and is raising his son. I can't imagine the mental shit Michael has to deal with as an 8-year-old in a mob family who had to go through his mom dying, then his dad also kicks the bucket, but suddenly a look-a-like is now in his home but acts completely different. My child needs some therapy.

I can only hope that in the new season, there's some fixing done. I want to still enjoy Tony, I really do. But please, stop dragging his name through the mud. They used him in a Jersey Shore parody for fuck's sake! *groans* Look how they massacred my boy.]

[lmh8903]

Benny Rodriguez x Reader Pt 7

Y/N's POV

In the days following our conversation on the porch steps, Benny and I navigated our newfound relationship with caution. We treated it like it was a blown glass figurine, too easy to break and too hard to repair again.  Every moment spent together felt like a revelation, a discovery of shared interests, dreams, and fears. We laughed, talked, and grew closer with each passing day. The Sandlot remained our sanctuary, where our bond had been forged and we continued to create memories. But now, it held an added layer of significance, serving as the backdrop for our blossoming romance.

Since we were taking our relationship slow, we decided not to tell people about it yet. It has been refreshing having that side of ourselves private. No one gets hurt this way. Phillips won't know that I moved on and the boys won't be in our business. 

Sneaking around with Benny has been new and exciting. I know I'm not doing anything wrong, well maybe I am because of Phillips, but sometimes it feels like I'm sneaking out to meet with some random guy. But this isn't some random guy. This is Benny Rodriguez, the boy I've been in love with forever. 

Later tonight Benny and I have plans to have a late-night picnic at the Sandlot. We meet there quite frequently because no one is there.  As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting the sky in hues of pink and gold, I found myself eagerly anticipating our late-night picnic at the Sandlot. The anticipation buzzed in the air like electricity, and I couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement coursing through my veins.

Finally, my waiting is over. It is 10 o'clock and everyone in my house is asleep. Since Benny and I are practically neighbors, we shine flashlights into each other's bedroom window to signal that we are ready. I flash mine into Benny's room and he signals back. I start to put my shoes on and sneakily go out the front door. As I make my way through the living room towards the door, I see a bright light coming from the kitchen. 

"And where do you think you're going, young lady?" Yeah-Yeah's voice broke the silence, his tone laced with playful curiosity as he intercepted my path.

I chuckled, rolling my eyes at his antics. "I'm just meeting up with some friends," I replied, trying to keep a straight face despite the mischievous glint in his eyes.

A smirk played on Yeah-Yeah's lips as he raised an eyebrow suggestively. "You mean Benny?" he teased, punctuating his words with exaggerated kissing noises that made my cheeks flush with embarrassment.

I shot him a mock glare, playfully swatting at his arm. "Shut up, Yeah-Yeah," I said, unable to suppress the laughter bubbling up inside me. Despite his teasing, I knew Yeah-Yeah meant well, always looking out for me in his unique way.

"Maybe get better at sneaking out Y/N. You two have been so obvious. Do you ever know when I sneak out?" Yeah-Yeah asked. 

"No. But that's probably because you never sneak out because all of your friends are asleep by 9" I respond matter-of-factly. 

Yeah-Yeah rolled his eyes dramatically, but the playful smile never left his face as he sauntered off, saying "Your secret's safe with me Y/N. I just want you to be happy." 

I met Benny at our usual spot, a secluded corner of the Sandlot hidden from view by a cluster of trees. His smile lit up the darkness as he spread out a blanket and unpacked the contents of our makeshift picnic basket. The faint scent of freshly cut grass mingled with the aroma of sandwiches and lemonade, creating an ambiance that felt both magical and intimate.

As we sat side by side, the stars twinkling overhead like diamonds scattered across velvet, conversation flowed effortlessly between us. We talked about everything and nothing, sharing hopes, dreams, and fears beneath the blanket of night.

In those stolen moments, I felt a sense of freedom, unlike anything I had ever experienced before. There was something exhilarating about sneaking around with Benny, about keeping our budding romance hidden from the prying eyes of the world. It felt like our little secret, a sacred bond shared between just the two of us.

But amidst the joy and excitement, there lingered a shadow of guilt in the recesses of my mind. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was betraying Phillips, that our clandestine meetings were a betrayal of the love we once shared. Yet, with each tender glance and whispered confession, those doubts faded into the background, replaced by the undeniable certainty that Benny was where I belonged.

As the night wore on, the cool breeze carrying whispers of summer's end, Benny reached for my hand, his touch gentle yet filled with warmth. "Y/N," he began, his voice soft against the backdrop of chirping crickets and rustling leaves, "I want you to know that I'm here for you, no matter what."

His words washed over me like a comforting embrace, banishing the last traces of doubt and uncertainty from my mind. At that moment, beneath the canopy of stars, I knew that our love was worth fighting for, worth cherishing with every beat of my heart.

As we lay together on the blanket, the world fading into a blur of moonlit dreams and whispered promises, I couldn't help but feel grateful for the unexpected journey that had brought us together. Our love may have started as a fragile whisper in the wind, but with each passing day, it grew stronger, and more resilient, until it became an unbreakable bond that would withstand the test of time.

"Yeah-Yeah knows about us," I admitted quietly, breaking the peaceful silence that enveloped us. "As much as I've loved having this to ourselves, I think it's time we tell people."

Benny's expression softened, his eyes reflecting a mixture of understanding and acceptance. "I've been thinking the same thing," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "Keeping our relationship a secret feels... I don't know, like we're hiding something that shouldn't be hidden."

I nodded in agreement, feeling a weight lift from my shoulders at Benny's words. It was time to stop hiding, to embrace our love openly and unapologetically.

"But how do we do it?" I asked, the uncertainty creeping back into my voice. "What if people don't understand, or worse, if they don't approve?"

Benny squeezed my hand reassuringly, his touch grounding me in the warmth of his presence. "I'm assuming by people you mean Phillips. We'll face whatever comes our way, together," he vowed, his voice filled with determination. "And as long as we have each other, nothing else matters."

His words echoed in the stillness of the night, a beacon of hope guiding us through the uncertainty that lay ahead. With Benny by my side, I knew that we could weather any storm, and overcome any obstacle that stood in our path.

As we lay beneath the blanket of stars, hand in hand, I felt a sense of peace settle over me like a comforting embrace. Our love may have started as a fragile whisper in the wind, but with each passing day, it grew stronger, and more resilient, until it became an unbreakable bond that would withstand the test of time.

As we prepared to face the world together, I couldn't help but feel grateful for the unexpected journey that had brought us to this moment. With Benny's love as my guiding light, I knew that our future held endless possibilities, each one more beautiful than the last.

[enchantedlandcoffee]

September Fic Recs

Hey guys! This is a belated fic rec list for some of the fics I've read in September 2023.

holding on to you (please, don't go) by @wemadethishome

Zayn Malik/Liam Payne | General Audiences | 1.3k | Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Zayn Malik Leaves One Direction

"I don't– I don't want you to go," Liam muttered, his tone seeming almost urgent as he held tightly onto Zayn. "I know, Liam, I know," Zayn whispered, his breath hot against Liam's cheek. "I don't want to go, but I have to." Or Zayn always knew goodbye would be hard, but he never knew it would be this hard.

Devil's In The Detail series by @babyhoneyheslt

General Audiences, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Angel Harry Styles, Devil Louis Tomlinson The Tower There's something strange going on in Heaven. Bored Angel Harry can't help but investigate. The Fool After making a deal with the devil, Harry has to forge a new life for himself alongside Louis on Earth. The Devil Harry has grown to love being on Earth, but his absence in heaven and the company he keeps, hasn't gone unnoticed.

Disenchanted series by @hellolovers13

Mature | Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson Witch Harry is just trying to live his life. Then there's Louis. The Potion or, Harry is a witch minding his own business, Louis is a nuisance. The Escape Harry is still minding his own business, Louis is still annoying. Well, fine. Maybe he is the tiniest bit helpful, too. The Healer Harry is trying to- Louis is- He's going to make it. Harry will make sure of that. The Curse Time for Harry to confront his past. Or not? The Heart True love isn't something that was ever going to be in the cards for Harry. It finds him anyway.

You were in my dream by staybeautiful / @harruandlou

Explicit | Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | 59k | Acquaintances to Lovers, Fluff, Smut

or Louis woke up after having a sexy dream about his best friend's boyfriend's best friend resolved to never think about it again. He hardly knew Harry, so what difference would it make? Bust when they are thrown together only a few days later, Louis had to admit, subconscious might have been onto something.

Those Early Mornings by @wishingforloushair

Explicit | Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | 4.7k | Top Louis Tomlinson, Mild Kink, Fluff and Smut, Teacher Harry Styles

Harry can set his clock by the beaten up red car that drives past his house every morning - in fact he basically has. But one morning he realises the car hasn’t come, and he’s now running late. In his rush to get out the door for work, he crashes into the owner of the red car, a record shop owner called Louis, who begs him for a lift to the station as his car has broken down. The initial attraction is undeniable.

Love Is In The Air by @justahappycloud

General Audiences | Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | 3.7k | Airports, Christmas, Musician Louis Tomlinson, Non-Famous

When Louis gets stuck in an airport during a snow storm, he mentally prepared for his already bad day to turn into something even worse. What he wasn't counting on was a certain green-eyed boy who would come to light candles in the dark of his bad mood.

Fly To You by @babyhoneyheslt

General Audiences | Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | 1.8k | Cute, Pilot Louis Tomlinson, Nervous Flyer Harry, Honeymoon

On the way to their honeymoon, Harry and Louis find out the pilot is ill. With Louis being a pilot, he offers to fly the plane there, and it turns out to make the start of their honeymoon extra special.

Bluer than velvet were her eyes (and softer than satin were her thighs) by @thebreadvansstuff / thebreadvan

Explicit | Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson; Liam Payne/Original Male Character(s) | 12.3k | Girl Direction, fem!larry, Five Times Plus One

Or, Harry should probably stop obsessing over her customer's boobs, but fate can't keep her away from Louis.

Wordplay series by @red-pandaaa

Daffodils Explicit | Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | Established Relationship, Fluff, Smut Or, Harry comes home to Louis reciting poetry. Orange Blossoms Teen and Up Audiences | Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | cute boyfriends, Domestic Fluff Or, Louis runs Harry a bath "I Wanna Marry You" General Audiences | Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | Established Relationship, Fluff, Domestic Fluff Or, Harry has something he wants to talk to Louis about Key Cards & Kindness Teen and Up Audiences | Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | Flashbacks, Established Relationship, Hotels Or, Louis stays in a hotel for a teacher training course. Harry is the receptionist. That'll Be Us General Audiences | Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | Weddings, NOT Louis and Harry, Established Relationship, Fluff Or, Harry has to find a pair of lost wedding rings, Louis carries a handkerchief, and one day, it'll be them.

[danielforshort]

Queer Loneliness

I sit on the couch and swipe through dating profiles while the Try Guys play in the background. I pause on a young man's face. I try to imagine myself loving him. Liking him. Hell, enjoying spending any romantic tinged time with him at all. I can almost imagine it. Almost. I swipe right.

My first few messages are exciting and fun to type. That imagined affection gains some weight. Then the novelty wears off. I realise I am bored. The imagining disappears like candle smoke. Our conversation tapers out. Just like the last one. And the one before that. And exactly like the next one will.

I have ages of my life forgetting about the concept of dating and romance. For months there is no yearning in me. I am content. I am happy. I am grateful for the found family I have. But then the yearning sets in. The Lonely. It is not the fear that I will be alone, or even the fear that I will never find a partner. It is the fear that I will never find connection in a fulfilling way. That there is too much of me, and in me, and that I am too small, all at once.

As a child I dreamed of being a spinster. I would live in the country, in a small farmhouse, I would own a horse, a dog, a cat. I would write books. I would be a teacher. I would be good, and kind, and loving, and I would be loved, and cherished, and cared for. And I would live with my best friend.

But that childhood best friend and I have outgrown each other; almost a decade ago now. And I have new, wonderful, best friends. People who have grown with me and fit with who I am now as a person. But their lives are so different than mine. Respectfully, their lives are entangled with other important people. They are kind, caring, wonderful, but they are not the connection I am looking for.

I yearn for that deep, soul struck connection. Intimacy.

My queer platonic partner and I fit together so easily. So well. I could feel the edges of our relationship. I knew where I stood, at all times, with them. We laughed easily, I cried easily. We supported each other, easily. And then we changed and life changed, and things were over. Naturally. The consequence of time.

And then I was full of giddy something. Romance? Desire? Yearning? I don't know. It was something. It was different than how my queerplatonic relationship felt. I thought it was romance.

When I tried to explain what I was feeling, I couldn't find the right words. My nervous laugh interrupted me too much. I sat, criss-cross, on my full sized bed, staring at the twinkling lights on my wall, trying so hard to not fuck up the beginning of something i had never had before.

I over-complicated it. I muddled my words and my meanings. What I meant to say was "I care so deeply about you. I care so much about what you think of me. I want to be important to you. I want you to want to be important to me. I want to be vulnerable with you. I want to lay my being out in front of you so we may learn to wind our lives together, like a vine and a trellis. I am scared of how to connect. There is something in me, or about me, that changes how I connect with the world. With people. I am scared I will not connect with you in the ways that are expected of me. I am scared my connection will not be enough. I am scared what i want is not what you want. I am scared."

Instead we let my muddled words suffice. So for nine months we tried to connect. We failed to connect. We waltzed through stages of our lives and found ourselves startled to not be waltzing together.

What do I do now? What do I do when I crave this kind of rare connection that i know can only be forged after ages of pleasant, normal, friendship? Patience should be my virtue, held close to my heart, instead it is loneliness.

How do I learn to accept the isolating loneliness of an aromantic heart, the exhausting experience of being Autistic, and the grieving wound of a lack of family?

[twoidiotwriters1]

Daughter of Olympus (Leo Valdez xFem!Oc)

A/N: Okay guys, time to get serious -Danny Words: 2,251 Series' Masterlist Previous Chapter / Next Chapter Listen to: 'A Troubled Mind' -by Noah Kahan

XXXII: I Ask My Bestie for Advice on the Stupid Thing I Did Already

Ara doesn't know how, but Lily sniffs lies from a mile radius, and it's obvious she didn't buy Ara's story yesterday.

"Remember how you asked me a couple of months ago not to report your absence from camp no questions asked?" She sits next to Connor while the Aphrodite cabin trains.

"You promised to never bring that up!" Connor argues.

"I want you to return the favor," Ara leans one arm on his shoulder. "No questions asked."

"Do I need my kit?"

She shakes her head. "I need you to distract Lily during the campfire."

"Oh. That's all?" Connor sighs heavily. "I'm a man of my word, so you got it, Aracles."

"Stop calling me that." 

Ara gets up and Piper approaches with Katoptris in hand. "The others want to know if we can go shower now."

Ara looks at the group over Piper's shoulder. "Go get rid of the smell!"

The demigods quickly abandon the place, but before Piper can leave,  Ara grabs her wrist. "I need to have a serious talk with you." She grimaces. "Yikes. No. A fun talk. A... sisters talk?"

Piper tilts her head with amusement. "You'll tell me embarrassing secrets?"

"One embarrassing secret," she squeezes the girl's wrist. "I need to know how you and Jason did it."

Piper blushes. "What?"

"The dating!" Her face flushes. "Oh gods, I suck at this..."

"Wait," the girl blinks. "Are you trying to date someone?"

"Er..."

"Who is it?" 

Ara's face gets redder. "Let's talk in my room."

The entire camp is holding its breath. 

A couple of miles out to sea, Percy Jackson and Charles Beckendorf will carry out a plan of attack on Luke Castellan's cruise ship. Charles is packing up the necessary materials, and behind him, two girls are waiting. The first is his girlfriend Silena, the second is me.

"Do you have everything?"

"Think so," he nods.

Silena approaches and adjusts his camp shirt. "Everything will be fine."

"I know."

I look away during the exchange, slightly uncomfortable to be witnessing their moment. I hear footsteps, and then the weight of a big hand on my shoulder. 

"Birdy," Beckendorf smiles. "I'll tell Percy you say hi."

My brother enjoys spending time away with Rachel, so I haven't seen him in like, a week. I decided to come and help the campers, I wanted to be useful. 

In the year since the battle of the labyrinth, I've grown six inches (I'm still shorter than most, though), my sword skills and forging have improved by eighty percent, and I'm visibly stronger. I'm doing well, the problem is my dreams.

I keep seeing weird stuff, Heracles and Achilles's battles, and those memories from my past lives. It feels like they're all connected, somehow.

"Keep an eye on that bronze dragon until I come back, alright?"

"'Kay."

My friend ruffles my hair and hands me a notebook. "If the plan works," he says, "I won't need this anymore, but I want you to keep it."

I'm beyond honored. "I'll take care of it. Good luck."

I follow him and Silena to the pegasus stable and, after greeting Blackjack, I leave the couple. 

Piper and Ara are on her bed drinking a six-pack of regular Coke, and Piper's having the time of her life. "You know, I think Leo got too lucky."

Ara's severely flustered. "Don't think so. This is meant to be, my friends always knew I'd end up dating a Cabin Nine camper. They thought it'd be Jake but—" Ara stops midsentence. "I was never interested in dating until now."

"Well yeah, you were a kid before," Piper agrees. "But I heard you've been avoiding love for years. Is that true?"

"No," Ara makes a face. "I was told I couldn't have it, but I'm not so sure. Chiron says it'll be hard to have a normal life, but he never said it was impossible, and even if it was..."

"You and Leo are masters of unlikely," Piper smiles. "That's what you said, right?"

Ara falls back on her bed, hugging her T-Rex. "But I've got no idea of how it's done properly!"

"No one does, just follow your gut and hope for the best."

"My gut is configured to deal with war stuff, not romance," Ara sulks.

"Then do what your mother said and just have fun. Leo can teach you, he's pretty good at that."

"Can I ask you something?" She sits up. "Do you think he likes me, or is he just starstruck?"

Piper tosses her empty can into the trash, landing a solid three-pointer. "I mean, you're pretty, but you also spent a whole week teaching us how to survive in this world. You're strong and you're skilled, I'm certain he likes you."

"Would he date me even if I didn't have all that?"

"Don't ask me, ask him!" Piper shrugs. "Then you'll know."

"Jackson!" Nico hollers from the stairs. "Lily needs you at the bunker!"

"Coming!" She starts to get up, then pauses. "Don't come to my room while I'm not here!"

"Like I want to see your stupid room!" He replies.

Piper stares at her. "Who was that?"

"The son of Hades," Ara leaves the room with Piper. "We used to be friends until he tried to kill my brother."

"Oh."

They get to the bunker and her sister goes to Leo and Jason—mostly just to be with Jason. Ara reaches the workbench Lily tends to use, as soon as she gets there, the dark-haired girl mumbles a question without looking up.

"What is it with you and elf-looking dudes?" 

"Wish I knew," Ara nudges her friend's arm. "But also, what is it with you and your elf-looking dude?"

"Nothing."

"Doubt it."

"For the last time," Lily looks up rolling her eyes. "We've known each other for years and we're still just friends, it's obviously one-sided."

"Or you're just cowards. One of these days, Connor's gonna get his shit together and he's going to ask you out, and then you'll have to eat your words."

"You didn't answer my question," Lily points out.

Ara grins. "I don't think it's 'cause they look like elves. Maybe I like guys with a good sense of humor."

Her friend snorts. "Yeah, right."

Ara pauses. Then, she speaks quietly. "I kissed Leo."

"WHAT!" Ara covers the girl's mouth, but the bunker's so loud no one hears her yelling. Lily slaps the hand away. "But why? Perché mi fai questo? Sai che ho bisogno di sapere le cose in anticipo in modo che tutto vada bene—"

"Se ti calmi forse posso spiegarti meglio, civetta!" Ara scolds her. "Listen, I talked to Piper—"

"You told Piper before you told me?" Lily exclaims. "Who else knows, Blackjack?"

"Shut up a minute!" Ara insists. "Piper's a daughter of Aphrodite! If Silena were here..." her voice cracks. "I just needed someone close to Mother."

Lily takes in her reply, blushing a little. "Right. I got carried away, sorry. So... Can I stab Leo if he messes up?"

Ara snorts. "No. I wouldn't even let Percy get tough with him."

"I don't see Percy doing that. Well, more like I never imagined him doing that if Mike had asked you out," Lily mentions. 

Once again, it's all well-intentioned and innocent, but Ara can't stand it. "He was different," she faces Lily with a serious expression. "Promise me something."

The girl tilts her head. "I'm listening."

"You'll stop talking about him."

I shoot up the lava wall, my hands and legs knowing by heart where each stepping stone is. I can climb with my eyes closed, with one hand, you name it. I'm the best climber in town.

"Fifty seconds!" Lily shouts proudly.

I seize the rope and descend swiftly, kicking against the wall on each leap. "You know what I think?"

"What?" Lily grins.

"This child of Olympus thing is going to be easy," I jump the last meter and land in front of her. "Woah! Did that look as cool as it felt?"

"You'll destroy your knees if you keep doing that," she responds unimpressed. "But yeah, it looked cool."

"Pff, I'm half-goddess, I'll be fine. I just couldn't wait to see you from up close," I tilt my head. "Occhi benedetti che ti vedono."

My friend stops smiling. "Da quando sai parlare italiano?"

I giggle. "I only learned a few compliments so I can shout them when you walk past," I shrug. "High-quality teasing." 

Lily face-palms and I laugh more.

"They're back!" Shouts a camper near us.

We run to where the group of demigods is, and I hear Silena's voice: 

"Where is Charlie?"

Time stops. When I see my brother's expression, I know I'll never see Beckendorf again. 

"No..." 

A pair of arms wrap around my shoulders while Clarisse leads Silena to the big house. 

"Ara..." Percy's the one holding me, I did not see him move.

Something's squeezing my lungs. Beckendorf is dead. Percy tells me everything, including that his father saved him. He tells me about the war happening underwater, and how it's time for him to listen to his prophecy.

We look at each other, neither of us is crying. We know this loss is greater than any amount of tears. I hug my brother. "You're okay," when I speak, my voice comes out shaky. "That's enough for now." 

I'll avenge my friend, I have a plan and a good reason to make it happen.

"You're getting stronger," Percy speaks hoarsely. "That hug almost breaks me in half." 

I know he's lying, but I appreciate it. 

Lily and Michael approach me with equally grim expressions. "Bug..."

"I gotta train." I walk past them, and they follow me at a proper distance.

"If you want to take a break..." Lily starts gently.

"Kronos's army doesn't take breaks," I reply, tightly holding the compass in my pocket. "Neither do I."

"What?"

"I need some distance between my past and my future," Ara continues. "I can't drag him along."

"Drag him?" Lily glares at her. "It's only been five months, Ara. He was your best friend—"

"And he's not coming back."

Lily seems even more insulted by this. "You're going to act like you never even—?"

"Hi!" Leo shows up with a huge smile on his face. "Bunker's closing..." The girls look at him with matching scowls, causing him to step back. "Unless... you don't want to go?"

"Doesn't matter what I want," Lily slams shut her notebook. "Ara speaks for all of us."

"Lily—"

"Don't bother."

Ara's glad she asked Connor to distract Lily, cause she'll need company after that. The former Aphrodite leans on the workbench and buries her hands in her hair. There is no way in which she can get her point across without sounding like a jerk, and she's getting tired of enduring anguish so others can feel better.

"What's her problem?" Leo lowers his voice. "You're the General, of course you speak for all of us!"

"Not what she meant..." Ara mutters grumpily.

Leo places a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, if you're not feeling well, we should postpone—"

"No!" Ara looks up, trapping his hand in place.

Leo gulps, he does his best to keep a low tone as he talks to her. "'Kay, not postponing it."

He's pondering whether to leave or stay when Ara speaks again, pushing herself up and glaring at the bunker's entrance. "You know what's annoying? If he hadn't sworn on the Styx, then we wouldn't be in this situation, but she acts like I was the one who caused this—It was his oath!"

Leo just looks at her, knowing she's not expecting a reply.

"If it wasn't for..." Ara wants to stop talking about this. She wants to leave it behind as soon as possible. "I am what I am thanks to my friends, that's all."

"Of course," the boy agrees. "And you love your friends."

Ara locks eyes with him, gaze softening. "You know, Beckendorf cared for this camp, and I bet that he's proud you're carrying on with his legacy."

"I've seen pictures of him," Leo shakes his head. "I'm nothing like the guy."

"All he wanted was to keep us safe, and you found the perfect way to do that. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. In more ways than one."

Leo lits up—his soul light, not in flames—and clears his throat, removing his hand from her shoulder. "So why is Lily angry at you?" 

"She wants me to look back," Ara answers vaguely. "But I can't, not when it's no longer of use. I've got to keep my eyes ahead."

My friends (Mike, Connor, Travis, Lily, and even Malcolm and Will) take turns to see how I'm doing throughout the day. I lost my mentor and with him any interest in the mortal world, I'll focus on securing the future of the demigods who remain.

I don't say another word for the rest of the afternoon, I pull myself together before facing all of Beckendorf's siblings. When I walk into the forges holding Beckendorf's notebook, no one's actually working. They're all there though, looking lost. 

Nyssa spots me at the entrance. "Ara's here." 

Hugs are received and I give a few in return. Tears are shared, but once everyone calms down, I show them Beckendorf's notebook. "I know we're not in the mood to think about work," I clear my throat. "But I need you."

"You saved our brother's life a month ago," Nyssa shrugs. "We owe you one, Birdy. You name it."

"I took a quick look at the notebook he left," I turn the pages as I speak. "He had a plan, in case blowing up the Andromeda wasn't enough." 

I turn the notebook so they can see Charles's sketches.

"We need tons of these—a full cabin if we can. You think it's doable?"

"Depends," Jake replies. "When do you want them?"

"I need them before the week ends."

Jake and Nyssa look at each other, and then the boy nods. "For Beckendorf."

"For Beckendorf," the group echoes.

I study the drawings, my fingertips grazing the notes like they're some kind of treasure.

"I'll look after them..." I whisper, hoping Beck can hear.

Next Chapter ->

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[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Tuesday, December 17

Oz: You're worried about her. Willow: Yeah, both of them. I mean, what kind of demon runs around putting ookie blood dreams into people's heads. Like some kind of nightmare fairy. It's not right. Oz: Well, I'm against it. Willow: And Buffy's completely being not herself. If it wasn't for this English paper I'd be there right now. Um, listening. Doing the girly best friend thing. Oz: Well, I can do that. Willow: You can? Oz: Well, I'm not saying we'll braid each others hair--probably—but I can hang with her, watch for signs she's going over the edge.

~~Buffy Episode #58: "Living Conditions"~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

I Hate Myself for Loving You (Buffy/Angelus, unrated) by dramionetrash

De l'autre côté des songes (Spike/Drusilla, T) by Oceanna

Winter Sweet, Not Fleeting (Buffy/Faith, G) by thisyearsgrrl

The Anatomy of Ruin Ch. 4 (Spike/Giles, M) by cj_is_alright

Potential Friend: Season Two Ch. 8 (Buffy/Angel, T) by srmcd1

Buffy & Angel: the Series { Part One } Ch. 2 (Buffy/Angel, M) by crowncitydreams

Lest This Bond Be Broken Ch. 12 (Buffy/Giles, M) by Dynapink

Transformed By Love Ch. 9 (Illyria, Angel, T, Vampire Diaries/Originals xover) by

Dawn Rising Ch. 75 (Ensemble, T, LotR xover) by Luna_delCielo

Sending My Love from The Other Side of the Apocalypse Ch. 4 (Buffy/Spike, E) by cawthraven

Forged in shadows Ch. 11 (Angel/Lindsey, E) by CloudSeeker

Opposite Attraction Ch. 6/6 (COMPLETE) (Angel/Spike, T) by MamaBewear

A truce that lasts long enough looks like peace (feels like love) Ch. 3 (Buffy/Spike, T) by zinjadu

Aegis Ch. 37 (Xander, T, multiple xovers) by dogbertcarroll, Narsil

The Buffy Chronicles: Life After Sunnydale Ch. 11 (Buffy/Spike, E) by sweetmelodykiss

Smoke and Leather Ch. 20 (Spike/OC, M) by EagleAlwaysFliesAlone

Her Left Hand Man Ch. 22 (Buffy/Spike, M) by sandy_s

Not Tonight, Spike! (Buffy/Spike, T) by VeroNyxK84

Team Work (Buffy/Spike, T) by veronyxk84

[Chaptered Fiction]

Sandy and Danny hit Spike with their fucking car (Spike, T, Grease xover) by StainlessSteelPot

Words Inside a Shell Chapter 3: The Tide Always Moves Fast (Spike/Reader, E) by tigerf00d

Spuffified: A Collection, Chapter 8 (Buffy/Spike, T) by satinsafe

Stories of True Love in Capeside, Chapter 8 (Buffy/Spike, E) by CheekyKitten

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork:The one who never leaves (Spuffy) by Yellowmellow33

Artwork:Buffy & Spike () by o-cm-draw-o

Artwork:the crucifix stays ON for freaky vampire sex!!!!! (Buffy & Spike) by kimodraw

[Reviews & Recaps]

Angel Season 5 - Episode 15 - A Hole in the World by rock-and-compass

PODCAST: BTVS 608 - Tabula Rasa by Another Buffy Podcast

[Community Announcements]

Random Tuesdays are for Random Tags! by comment_fic

[Fandom Discussions]

Reverse hot take: Buffy (series not character specific) by thornfield13713

I’m a little tired of “the fandom couldn’t even handle Dawn”. by desicat-writer

do you guys ever think about that time in season 3 when buffy had to talk to the school counselor by comradesummers

the high school years of buffy will always be nostalgic but i think it is the adult years that have a timeless quality to them. by rorykillmore

how am i supposed to be normal when angel and spike are made from all the same things. by xaeyrnofnbe

the hardest thing in this world is to live in it. by youhavethesun

I *know* the intention behind the episode where buffy’s awful cheating exboyfriend returns by angelynial

so ever since I found out that buffy’s stint in the mental hospital was actually canon by camellcat

As someone who experienced first buffy watch in the year 2024 by the-bed-bugs-bit

Spike would be ride or die for grey’s anatomy from day one by lulu-honey

I have so many emotions about Buffy’s fatal flaw being loyalty. by duckwnoeyes

I’m genuinely surprised that Spangel isn’t at least as popular as Spuffy. by gh-0-stcup, thequeenofsastiel:

as far as buffy comics go, so far i have read by xaeyrnofnbe

What could be behind the decision to make Xander a villain? by danzalthar

Discussion of 3.12 "Helpless" by Multiple Authors

As a first time Buffy viewer, the Mayor did nothing wrong by Eagles56

Rewatching Buffy again and am up to the ep where the adults eat that funky chocolate by spicynipples123

I just discovered "Once More, With Feeling" is on Spotify by loki2002

When She Was Bad.. by Berry-Pie216

Slight changes to season 4 and the Initiative by TooMuchNRG

Oz is funnier than Xander. by InsincereDessert21

Season 1 Episodes by NoShip

who was your first crush... on the show? by iwillremember4sure

Never related harder to a fictional character than I am to Anya right this moment... by Jdobbs626

Glory/Key Question by LiamJGreen

Buffy & Angel correct aspect ratios? by EgonHeart123part2

S3E3 Homecoming. Wow great episode. Was so happy Willow and Zander did this. was so touching. by AggressiveBuddy6703

As of now, a Buffy reboot is not happening. by hospitalsinwinter

Nothing makes my blood BOIL like Hank Summers and Giles blowing off the ice show back-to-back by source-commonsense

does anyone know the name of this song from angel by MelodicWear6820

Love their sad heartfelt talks with a deadpan touch at the end by mercurialmusing

How do you think the Watcher's Council is funded? by dragonsrawesomesauce

Buffy's Resurrection by loucottie

What's the best instance of the title of an episode being used within the episode itself? by InfiniteMehdiLove

Another one of my favorite Buffy things is how becoming a vampire changes you. by sadisticretrieverbf

A certain type of Buffy fan by lightdancer1

One of my favorite ironies of the Buffy fandom going back to the OG forums by lightdancer1

The First by Pitiful-Talk-7798

What're some of your favorite quotes from William "The Bloody Spike" Pratt? by Jdobbs626

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